The Dark Thoughts


Attending wedding and such function to me right now feels like intimidating at the same time. There were thoughts about life that needs attention and many decision making involved. There were certain dark thoughts lingering in my head while I was attending my friend’s  wedding.

He met with a girl that live so far away. I was wondering about ‘what if’ I were to find someone who live so far away that I will have the same situation. Imagine the distance. Traveling few hundreds kilometres away from each other. Whenever I want to visit her and her family, the distance that you can only reach if you drive yourself there or riding bike. Can I endure the distance? How can I managed such long distance relationship?

He and his in-law family are quite close. The knew each other for years now. So, no wonder he and his in-law family are close as he used to spend time together with them from time to time. Not to mention that his in-law family are quite big especially most of them lived near the same area. Can I get along with my in-law family? Will I be able to get together with them? How can I make them feel comfortable with me and treating me as the same as they treat my spouse?

He managed to pull everything through for this wedding. Nowadays, people would say getting married is expensive. I don’t think I need to explain more than that because it is quite clear what is the issue here. Financial. Yes, I am working but I have things to settle and bills to pay. My savings are just tiny bits. Can I get this through? How hard should I work to earn more? What can I do to make my wedding to be realized? How long would it take?

He has friends to support him and family to be with him. He is no loner and he is the centre of the crowd. How many people would come on my wedding day? Will my friends be able to come and support me? Can I get the same  reaction as I did when my turns come later on? Will they be happy for me as I am a nobody?

He has a wife that love him so much and willing to sail together in life. What about me later? Will I be able to find someone that is willing to walk in a hard path of this world together? What should I do to make her feel happy when he is with me? How can I stay strong together with her when she needs me? Will I be a good husband for her?

To me those are scary thoughts. Especially when I realized that things might not get how we wanted them to be. A lot more scarier when you think about it and you can’t do anything at all.



5 thoughts on “The Dark Thoughts

      1. I believe there is a time for everything. When the time is right everything automatically falls in place with some careful planning. Meeting a right person at the right time and a right place with the right situation happens to everyone but when? Only universe holds the answer to this. 🙂 so for us all we can do is take one day at a time with realistic goals ahead. :-).

        Liked by 1 person

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