Hi everyone!
I found something that is really good to read (To me at least). I was looking for the single word of ‘hard to express how we feel’ and this articled popped out. It’s a bout 10 Reasons You Can’t Say How You Feel.
I believe everyone has at least once experienced this situation. There are things you really wanted to tell others but you simply cannot. You lost your words. Even if you doesn’t lost your words, it stuck in your tongue. You really want to say it but you stuttered. Then things passed and you didn’t say anything.
This article was written by Mr John M. Grohol a Psychology Doctor. So, he stated 10 reasons why.
- Conflict Phobia
- Emotional Perfectionism
- Fear of Disapproval or Rejection
- Passive-Aggressive Behavior
- Hopelessness
- Low Self-Esteem
- Spontaneity
- Mind Reading
- Martyrdom
- Need to Solve Problem
Do check out the link for the description of each one.
So why am I sharing this? Isn’t these reasons what made us write? There are things that we can’t tell others directly, then we write it. I’m not sure about you guys but for me, I would write the things that I cannot express .
Right now, there are one thing that I swallowed inside. Something that I wish I can simply express it but I can’t. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what I would become later. I don’t want to break anything but I have a feeling that it already affecting me.
I’m scared. A coward. Hopeless.
Questions for you guys. Are you guys having things that you can’t express right now? Is it in one from above?
Write Ally! Write! 
I’m claiming all ten! I really believe the one thing that lies beneath every reason why we can’t say how we feel is simply fear.
Fears we have had programmed from childhood onward. All the you-can’t-do-this and you-can’t-do-that’s pre-programmed; all relationships (i.e. family, friends, lovers) we’ve had in the past and what others have projected on us; all the specific moments of trauma we’ve experienced, from falling off a bicycle and grazing a knee to more serious trauma, they all add and grow our programmed fears.
Take a person who is afraid to skydive for instance. Anyone can jump out of a plane. But some have an underlying fear of heights, or falling, or safety, or trust (equipment failing), even money, etc.
At some point in our lives those fears were born. If you can find those moments, sit with them and really forgive your past, then you can jump from that big-ass plane.
Keep on writing Ally, love your works.
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Thank you. Indeed, sometimes we did it unconsciously too.
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I used to have trouble with many of these, especially 8. Now it’s mostly 1 and 5. 5 causes 1 and vice versa. But I still try on nonetheless because I know I will never find peace otherwise…
Truth is many times it is better to stay silent, and many sometimes it is better to speak up. True wisdom is learning when staying silent is healthier and when speaking up is… But as the article says, if these are the reasons they aren’t healthy.
I guess what I am trying to say is: 1) Don’t be afraid. (Easier said than done, I know. But really don’t.)
2) It’s resolvable and I’m living proof of it so hang in there. Number 1 is important to doing so.
3) Write on, write on, write on. It’s always better to express it somewhere rather than not at all. Plus, I love your work. 🙂
Hope that was a bit reassuring/helpful…
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Great input! I agreed that there are times when we should speak out and be silent about it.. Either way, we need to know how to deal with our decision. Really appreciate it, thank you!
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I meant if one of the 10 reasons above is the reason why you aren’t speaking out then you should hehe.
What you said is also very true though, we have to learn to deal with the decision also..
Don’t mention it. 🙂
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i’m not surprised i see myself in all ten, to varying degrees. sometimes it hard to admit that i can be so passive-aggressive or that i slip into expecting others to read my mind. Yet I would say in general it is a mix of conflict phobia layered with a fear of disapproval and rejection (I do have General Anxiety Disorder, so no surprise there), emotional perfectionism side by side with low self-esteem, bordering on self-hatred at times, all balanced a top a sense of hopelessness (the depression side of manic-depression doesn’t help here).
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Somehow I can relate. Having anxiety made decision making worst.. Great share and input. Thank you!
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