A few days ago, I told Mintly @ Mints Blog that I am very bad at texting. She mentioned that she was bad at it too. Some might ask how can a person be bad at texting? Isn’t it just reading and sending text, similar to how we talk to each other?
Years ago when I was younger, perhaps when I was 13, I love texting. That time, to have your own personal mobile phone and have someone to text with was the best thing to have. There were so many things to talk about, school, hobbies, and interest. How crazy it was to text each other after school until late night. Then the cycle continues to the next day. Things getting more interesting on long school holidays or festive seasons.
To make it more interesting, texting has helped me to get friends from different places. They had this one service where we can text with each other on TV screen, then we have to personally text them if we want to know more about them. Yes, I had done something like that. I get to know a lot of people which I had to interact almost daily and around the clock.
If you ask me why I did something like that, my answer is the thrill of it. Daily interaction is something that I crave at that time, I was the only child and my parents were busy with work. I was mostly alone and doing my own things. Imagine the feeling of getting a text and you can’t wait to reply, something happened and you can’t wait to tell, and the sense of connection between the texts was addicting.
When did everything change? Before I tell you the reasons, I want to point out few things why I enjoy texting that much anymore.
1. Sense of communication
It is true that texting is a form of fast communication. We can send messages instantly and get replies instantly. Everything in an instant including your mental health. When we are used to texting each other, we tend to anticipate things, such as response time, expected replies, and firmly believes that it is the same as communicating face to face. All those things are killing your brain slowly, you are filled with anxiety, you feel like blaming others, you overthink, and can lead you to a darker path.
2. Sense of time and space
One can never really stop texting, be it the first thing you gotta do in the morning or the last thing you do before you go to sleep. If you have a lot of free time, you will never really see the problem. However, when you are working and you have your own stuff to do, you will have little time to spend. You might heard ‘replying a text will just take a few seconds’, if its something simple and easy, yes. What if it is something complex? Your attention and focus will shift and it might affect your productivity. If you are constantly texting, one hour can be really fast! What about space? Here, I am referring to personal space or personal time for yourself. Sometimes, you just need time for yourself and then texts are coming in. If you are in a good, respecting, and understanding relationship, you will have no problem. Its bad news, if you are in a toxic relationship where your partner constantly texting you and requires you to send updates every second. I did not made this up, might be on the ‘every second’ part, but else is real!
3. Sense of distance
Whenever we text someone, we realized that we are actually far from each other. However, the constant communication can slowly affects the sense of distance. The painful thing is that, we are not even close and it will create some frustration when something happened.
4. Sense of voice
I think I mentioned this in one of my poem. Text messages
Not everyone has the ability to ‘know’ the senders mood or voice through text. Perhaps, if you are a psychic or equipped with extraordinary sixth sense, you might know. As for me, that is the most unwanted things to do. I don’t want to guess, I prefer it to be straight forward. Why? It’s easier that way!
5. Sense of situation
We will never know what is going on at either sides. I think this one explained itself. One thing that I can’t help to wonder is that, when I was in school or in college, I never think about it too much. But now, being alone sometimes is the best thing that I can have, working life changed me a lot. Even so, being alone is good but having loneliness is scary. Loneliness kills.
At this point, I am really dried up on idea. However, I just went back from watching Yuta Tanaka live performance. Listening to his music is always a refreshing experience. The reason I really like him is because, I really like his music. He express himself and pour it into his songs. I can feel the sense of genuine emotions in his songs. I really do. You can find Yuta Tanaka through his website here: Yuta Tanaka Official Website
As I mentioned above, when did everything started to change? It was basically on my last relationship and that was like 4 years ago… We love to text each other and basically like any other lovers who are young. She was carrying her thoughts alone and I didn’t realized that. Everything looks normal between us until it was too late. I have moved on and its a lesson that I would like to share to everyone. Texting is fine but there is a clear line on when face to face interaction is needed.
Nowadays, I really enjoy a good conversation face to face. I can see reaction, I can hear intonation, I can feel intention, and I feel more connected. Conversation is much more interesting face to face. That is what I believe.
Before I wrap things up, I want to leave you a very good TED Talk by Julian Treasure.
I hope everyone have a great weekend! Stay safe!