That no one will ever understand

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Listen closely,
To the beat of your own heart,
It tells a story,
That no one will ever understand,

Reach out to the sky,
But don’t count the times you fall,
What do you feel when you try,
That no one will ever understand,

Dance to the moment,
Even when the music is nothing but the wind,
As long as you are in the present,
That no one will ever understand.


I’ll break too

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Have you seen where you are?
Take a break and look back,
How far have you walked since then,

Did you see that?
The countless pits and holes,
You’ve stumbled and fallen before,

It’s okay to cry,
It’s alright to feel,
We can’t always be the strong ones,

I’m just like you,
When life is too hard,
I’ll break too.

Ally’s Thoughts: One Strong Lesson I Learned From Love Village (Ai No Sato) on Netflix

Hi friends and readers.

I completed watching a Japanese reality dating show on Netflix called Love Village or Ai No Sato. I did write about it in a previous entry. You can read about it below.

In my earlier post, one of the points that made me want to watch this is the age limit for the participants. They are around the age of 35 – 60 years old. Age truly shows the differences in terms of maturity and objectives compared to younger people.

One of the biggest lessons that I want to share from the show is the ability to understand what I want, what my person wants, and whether are we willing to grow together from there. All of us have our own preferences when it comes to a partner. While it may seem that it is the most important thing it may actually be something that is trivial. I like to see it this way, are we seeing the same values in life. That’s just the start.

The next part is about understanding each other and recognizing efforts. Things changed eventually when we are being honest and upfront. If things are unrequited it’s okay. At least no more stones are left unturned. That is to me being mature because we are not only dealing with our own feelings and emotions but their feeling as well. I do believe that no communication is also a form of communication. I’m the type of person who is having a hard time processing such kind of action.

It’s really assuring watching the participants being upfront with their feeling. I feel that it is a good example for me. I’m currently not really sorting out the things I want to say on this matter. I might end up reading this post again in the future and realize how silly it is. In a way, I feel like I’m writing this while being drunk. I hope you all will understand. Sorry in advance.

Anyway, that’s all for now. I hope you have a productive weekday!

It’s harmless except for myself

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I would love to write another word for you,
To tell you about all the things I did today,
Because we don’t talk like we used to,
And I really want to tell you how much I miss you,

The more I try to think about it,
The more I feel bad about it,
I feel like a creep and stupid,
For wanting the things I couldn’t do,

Maybe all I need is to take a break,
But I can’t stop thinking of you,
Let me just be drowning in it,
It’s harmless except for myself.

Let Me Share How It Feels by Ally L is now available!

Hi friends and readers!

I just published my fifth ebook! Let Me Share How It Feels is a collection of more than 170 poems written between 2020 to the end of 2021.

In a time where he only has his written words to share. All he can write about is brokenness. His broken heart, his broken soul, and his broken mind. If you wonder how does it feel? Or what kind of battle he has to go through every single day of his life, let this one show you instead.

You can download it for free here! Like my previous ebooks, it is free to download because I’ve written all the poems here in my blog. While for some it can be a hassle to scroll back to read my older poems, I just have to compile them all. I still have one more compilation to make. That is the NaPoWriMo version for all those past years.

Feel free to download it and feel free to share your experience with me. The pandemic was really difficult for some of us and I am included. During the lockdown phase, I lost friends and family members close to me. Some to their battle with cancer, some succumbed to covid, and some by suicide. It was too much to process. I don’t want to remember how painful it was for everyone around me. My mind was like dangerous water to sail with at that time.

I guess on the themes, I did write a few love poems which mostly are unrequited. Of course, talking about the struggle of depression was most of it. In a way, I find it funny that I keep on writing about this same dark and heavy feeling after all these years. What a life.

Anyway, again, feel free to download the book and share it in your circle. If you feel like tipping me you can do so through my page on Buy Me A Coffee. I’m also accepting commission too. Click here to my Buy Me A Coffee page.

Until next time!

NaPoWriMo 2023: Day 27 (The Daisy of Joy)

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Today, begin by reading Bernadette Mayer’s poem “The Lobelias of Fear.” Now write your own poem titled “The ________ of ________,” where the first blank is a very particular kind of plant or animal, and the second blank is an abstract noun. The poem should contain at least one simile that plays on double meanings or otherwise doesn’t quite make “sense,” and describe things or beings from very different times or places as co-existing in the same space.

A long walk,
On the city pavement,
On the rough dirt road,
A journey between two worlds,
I used to call it,

I see buildings,
Standing proud as a mountain,
Modernization, complex, advanced,
But it was too busy for me,
I will rather be the daisy of joy,

Patches of daisies filled the side of the road,
As I walk on this dirt dusty way,
As wild as the Przewalski’s horses,
Having the perseverance of a wolf,
And the excitement to see the daisy of joy,

Thriving to live and adapt anywhere,
What is pride but the daisy of joy.

Ally’s Commissions @ Buy Me A Coffee

Hi friends and readers,

My commission page on Buy Me A Coffee is now open! By answering some questions given, I will write a four-line poem to make your day or your loved ones!

I have my Buy Me A Coffee account set up ages ago but recently they have a new feature that I welcome so much. Apart from buying me a coffee, you can also commission me! You can read it more here.

For now, it is limited to 10 slots. So, first come first serve.

#4: I Have A Bestfriend Who Writes Good Poetry! — Dancing Through Life

If you noticed the first letter in every paragraph spelled out as my name ✨ Hi there, I was talking to a friend today on the phone and she asked me “What’s one of the best thing in your life when you realised that you have a loveable people around you babe..” Well it definitely […]

#4: I Have A Bestfriend Who Writes Good Poetry! — Dancing Through Life

Dear friends and readers,

I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine, Em. She recently started a new blog. So, help me to welcome her into the community!

She posted something earlier that is really kind and sweet. Thank you for the shout-out, Em!

Sorry, I Gave Up by Ally L is now available!

Hi friends and readers!

A new poetry e-book by Ally L is available now! The new e-book, Sorry, I Gave Up is a compilation of poems written between 2018-2019. The theme is about how some people took a different path in life and found themselves in difficult places. Download it for free!

Sorry, I Gave Up is the fourth e-book since my last one. The last one was published in 2017. The main reason I published it is that I want to make it easier for others to read my work. It might be a hassle to go to my website and go through each post one by one. So, like what I did years ago, the new e-book will cover all the poems I posted here from 2018 till 2019.

When I was compiling all the poems, I realized a strong main theme, hardship. If I recall correctly, those two years were mostly about me being busy with work and how it took a toll on my creativity. I was too busy that I don’t really have time for myself, or to connect and socialize with others. I got myself plunged into depression and I feel that I lost my creative self.

Hopefully, this will help me to be motivated to compile more and complete a couple of personal projects. Again, please help by downloading the book and giving it a review. It will make my day happier. Wishing everyone a great and productive week ahead!

Ally’s Thoughts: What made me a Malaysian?

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Hi friends and readers,

Recently, I worked with an NGO, and a question was asked that keeps on bothering me for months. What made me a Malaysian? The manager raised a couple of good points like the fragility of tying our nationality with food, and sports. I can’t help to agree. This is just my personal opinion and that is what “”Ally’s Thoughts” segment is all about.

I agree with his statement. Does being a Malaysian about having good food and good badminton players? Is it about having the tallest twin tower in the world? In a more recent quick discussion, I had with an academician, he said, if being a Malaysian is all about having all the good food, it feels superficial. I nodded in agreement.

Let me share my opinion on what made me a Malaysian. First of all, I know well Malaysia is a multiracial country, once a British colony for hundreds of years. The colonizer brought in laborers, mainly from India and China to maximize the production of local resources. They created a system that somehow managed to seep into the present, elitist. If you are Malaysian and somehow want to understand more about it, I highly recommend you to read The Colour of Inequality: Ethnicity, Class, Income and Wealth in Malaysia by Muhammed Abdul Khalid. It doesn’t matter which race are you from because it definitely helped me to understand why Malaysia feels so torn apart sometimes.

Unity and beyond

I personally believe being a Malaysian is all about unity. The unique thing about it is we look past it beyond colors and belief. For me it is a blessing compared to other countries, Malaysians enjoy each other’s company, celebrate together, and deeply respect each other in our daily life. In the recent crisis, Covid, and the flood that happened, I saw how united Malaysian can be. The solidarity shown for fellow Malaysians that was affected by the crisis is heart-moving. It really shows the Malaysian spirit.

I believe this should be the starting point for a better future. I also believe similar things have been done in the past. However, if it works, I wouldn’t be writing this kind of post. I would probably be writing about something else, not about the obvious thing that should make me a Malaysian.

Somehow from my observation, I don’t think we Malaysians share the concept of history the same as each other deeply. We all understand how we gain our independence and the leaders behind it. However, we came from different backgrounds. Some might feel that independence is a distant past that the younger ones have difficulties embracing.

Again, unity as the core principle value is not new. I’ve seen the words countless times as I grew up. The terms perpaduan, bersatu padu, semangat perpaduan, and the list goes on. We have been injected and shaped with those words constantly, I, for example, have been to Sekolah Kebangsaan (SK) and Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan (SMK), playing with those words in my essays. Even so, I believe in experience and practical things rather than just theory. I attended two different SK. One is in the city, where I experience the multiracial environment. The other one is in the kampung, where 99% of the students are Malay. The atmosphere and experience are totally different. When I get to SMK, the students from the kampung have a hard time mingling with other races and prefer their own. It’s just from my observation.

Of course, unity is the key but the keysmiths are the politicians. They are the leaders that shaped the country. I understand that Malaysians inherited a system from the colonizers and passed it down to the younger generations. I strongly believe we need to break free from it. It is in the news about how racism is on the rise but Malaysians don’t really talk about it. To be honest, I have faith in my generation and the coming ones. Slowly, I believe the real Malaysians, not the elitists, will be able to shape a better Malaysia. The one that has been brought up by the spirit of living in Malaysia will lead the country. Certainly not by the silver spoon-fed families that have no idea what happen on the ground. Real leaders that will bring unity which all Malaysians deserve.

You can leave if you want, but

Of course there are Malaysians who believe that this country is doomed. No point in staying and better migrating to another country. That is their opinion and nothing is wrong with that. But, the one who stays believes otherwise. They still want to fight, they believe in change. Slowly, they did. Slowly, they progressed. They are fighting for a better Malaysia.

You or any other Malaysians who no longer believe Malaysia can be better, you can leave if you want but don’t ever disrespect or belittle the effort of the ones who decided to stay. The same goes for Malaysians who don’t vote because they don’t believe in change or the system. To vote is the bare minimum to challenge the system. That is the basic thing to do for a Malaysian.

As a closure, being a Malaysian is all about unity. For me, that is the answer to the question, of what makes us Malaysian. This unity stems from respect, admiration, and understanding of Malaysia’s identity. I believe this unity has already sprouted and grown but is still a long way to fully mature. Perhaps, one day.

25 August 2022.