There is a world,
Where suits people like me,
Filled with happiness,
That will make my heart jumps,
Like a free rabbit out in the open,
Running from one side to the other,
Safe from any predators,
Outside as much as the heart desire,
A world of fantasy,
Far from reality,
Inside this head of mine.
I have been sinfully binge-ing Netflix lately and for the record, today I just completed watching a Japanese drama with the above title. I was definitely hooked as I went through all 12 episodes from my lunch break until I reached home.
What is Million Yen Women all about?
A frustrated writer has arranged his home for 5 mysterious women, who all pay him a million yen as rent. What is the story behind this unusual arrangement? – IMDB
I was interested with the drama was because of the word ‘writer’ on the synopsis. I am sure we all know how it feels to feel frustrated when we could not write anything on the paper or screen in front of us. Plus, I am the type who would be so attracted to comedy, I decided to give this drama a go.
By the end of the last episode, I have come to a conclusion, this is a great and powerful drama! The drama filled with emotions and some can be so intense that it made me restless. I am proud to give this drama a 5 Stars rating.
However, I am not going to review any further about the drama. Simply because Ally’s Thoughts was never meant to be about reviews. It is all about the value or something that I want to talk about inspired by the dramas or movies I have watched.
The point or issue I want to talk about is:
Will you be able to forgive yourself?
In the drama, the main character’s father has murdered his own wife and the person who has an affair with the wife. The father also killed a policeman who was trying to stopped him. The father was sentenced to death for his crime.
To make things worst, the story progressed and Shin, the main character, came to a point where he prefer to be alone. In hope not to lose the things or the person he loved. His life was filled with tragedies and he blamed himself for it. He told himself, things would have changed if he could realized things earlier. It was too late for him and decided to live in seclusion.
This is the part that to me can happen to anyone, the part where we can’t stop blaming ourselves for the things that happened. Personally, I understand how it feels. For someone who did so many things before, we are bound to made one or two mistakes and some of them left us with deep scars. The more we think about it, the more we made things hard for ourselves.
The scars became a big alert warning whenever we want to move on. Basically, we will start to hear, I don’t want to repeat the same mistake, I am too afraid to try because I have failed before, I don’t want to take the chance and so on. We are so afraid to take that leap of faith and we keep on blaming ourselves.
To be extremely honest, sometimes I am trapped in that situation. It is very hard to forgive myself over the things I have done. Be it small or big. If you ask me, how did you managed it? My answer is simple, what else do you have? The only things that I have is time and chances. As long as I am breathing, I was given the chance to atone or correct my mistakes.
What about you? How do you forgive yourself?
Here is the trailer for the drama if you are interested.
I am sorry for horrendous grammatical and spelling errors in this post. I basically came home and binged on the drama. Then, instantly I wrote all the things here with the absent of a straight and sharp brain.
There are actually other perspectives that I want to talk about in the drama. Not today! said my brain.
A year ago, I was accepted to work in a company after four months of relaxing at home being unemployed. I spent my time writing poetry, exploring things, watching movies and chilling at home.
As time passed, my workload started to swamp my schedule, more and more responsibilities and project initiatives were tasked to me compared to my ‘honeymoon period’ which my boss told me.
It’s no longer about doing work for the company but be a part of the team and company. So many things happened after a year working and perhaps I can be somewhat more useful and resourceful.
DO I LOVE MY JOB?
Even after a year, I always feel that I still need some adjustment. I learned to do new things and facing different challenges almost everyday. I do feel like I am looking forward to learn new things. On a different side, I just feel like doing the job because it is my job. At least I can earn right now. Overall, I have no complaints.
I have a dream and I am really doing my best to achieve it. I plan to retire at 40 and already set up to become a property investor. The only way to achieve that right now is to keep on performing in the company and work like crazy.
AM I STILL WRITING?
To be honest I am having a hard time to write. Its like I don’t have time or I don’t know what to write. Even getting an opening line was such a difficult task to do. Not even the slightest theme inside my head. I don’t really have the time to read my precious books too.
Anyway, that’s just some updates. I’m sorry for not being able to write constantly. Too many stuff is going on and I feel like having my brain chewed by the pressure.
Is it dark yet?
Or is it just me?
Who couldn’t see,
In the brightness,
Of the scorching sun,
As the light reflected,
On the surface of the ocean,
I am in darkness,
Cold and silent,
Shivering and sweaty,
With shaky ground,
Pulling me down,
To a quiet slumber.
To be honest with you guys, I don’t remember the last time I went to the cinema. Previously, I would watch new movies every week. As for now, I’m not that active anymore. However, I spent my weekend watching movies on Netflix. Yes, I tried the free one month subscription. Mainly because I wanted to watch one Netflix original movie, When We First Met (2018).
I know some might say, this is just a typical romantic comedy with cliche plot… Do tell me what movies are not considered cliche nowadays. All I wanted to say is that, its all about how we enjoy watching it.
For those who are not familiar with my segments, this is not a movie review. This segment is my random thoughts about the movie. Usually I will talk about my experience discovering the values in the movie. Without further ado, lets get this thought of mine started.
Noah spends the perfect first night with Avery, the girl of his dreams, but gets relegated to the friend zone. He spends the next three years wondering what went wrong – until he gets the unexpected chance to travel back in time and change that night – and his fate – over and over again.
Imagine this, you were given the ability or a chance to go back in time and do things that will fix the errors you made in the present time. You try to fix your relationship for example. However, whenever you changed something, things will changed in the future as well. Whatever you do come with consequences or so called the butterfly effect.
I believe we all experienced this before, ‘If only I can turn back time and do this…’ thinking when we regret or unsatisfied about something that happened. I have been in that kind of situation countless of time. However, I would just take a deep breath and accept it and move on.
I have a firm believe on things happened for a reason or more. I don’t believe in coincidence. It’s just which perspective I would look when something happened. No matter how bad things are, we don’t have the superpower or the capabilities to turn back time. For us, time just move forward without waiting us. If we get left behind, we will be left behind.
Simple way to put it, if you spent your young days doing meaningless things and that realization came very late to you, you can never get back the youth you had. All you have now, is the coming old days. Whats worst is when you started to regret without the strength to move on.
I know how tough it can be… especially when the things that happened was really heavy. You feel that the world fall on you and you can’t get up at all. The first person that can help you is yourself and not the first person to reach their hand to you. To me, if someone reach their hand to help you but you don’t want to help yourself, things will be hard and might now work out.
It is important for you to find the strength to help yourself first and only then you will be able to appreciate more the helps and supports from others.
I place down my head,
On the puffy pillow,
I closed my eyes,
My head starts to spin,
The world around me,
Round and round,
As my head lean heavily to one side,
Which is the reality,
Which is the illusion,
Which is me?
The fact that it is the National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) and I did not participate. Reasons? Primarily, my packed schedules, workloads, and I couldn’t focus much on writing.