Ally’s Thoughts: Let’s Talk About Texting

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A few days ago, I told Mintly @ Mints Blog that I am very bad at texting. She mentioned that she was bad at it too. Some might ask how can a person be bad at texting? Isn’t it just reading and sending text, similar to how we talk to each other?

Years ago when I was younger, perhaps when I was 13, I love texting. That time, to have your own personal mobile phone and have someone to text with was the best thing to have. There were so many things to talk about, school, hobbies, and interest. How crazy it was to text each other after school until late night. Then the cycle continues to the next day. Things getting more interesting on long school holidays or festive seasons.

To make it more interesting, texting has helped me to get friends from different places. They had this one service where we can text with each other on TV screen, then we have to personally text them if we want to know more about them. Yes, I had done something like that. I get to know a lot of people which I had to interact almost daily and around the clock.

If you ask me why I did something like that, my answer is the thrill of it. Daily interaction is something that I crave at that time, I was the only child and my parents were busy with work. I was mostly alone and doing my own things. Imagine the feeling of getting a text and you can’t wait to reply, something happened and you can’t wait to tell, and the sense of connection between the texts was addicting.

When did everything change? Before I tell you the reasons, I want to point out few things why I enjoy texting that much anymore.

1. Sense of communication

It is true that texting is a form of fast communication. We can send messages instantly and get replies instantly. Everything in an instant including your mental health. When we are used to texting each other, we tend to anticipate things, such as response time, expected replies, and firmly believes that it is the same as communicating face to face. All those things are killing your brain slowly, you are filled with anxiety, you feel like blaming others, you overthink, and can lead you to a darker path.

2. Sense of time and space

One can never really stop texting, be it the first thing you gotta do in the morning or the last thing you do before you go to sleep. If you have a lot of free time, you will never really see the problem. However, when you are working and you have your own stuff to do, you will have little time to spend. You might heard ‘replying a text will just take a few seconds’, if its something simple and easy, yes. What if it is something complex? Your attention and focus will shift and it might affect your productivity. If you are constantly texting, one hour can be really fast! What about space? Here, I am referring to personal space or personal time for yourself. Sometimes, you just need time for yourself and then texts are coming in. If you are in a good, respecting, and understanding relationship, you will have no problem. Its bad news, if you are in a toxic relationship where your partner constantly texting you and requires you to send updates every second. I did not made this up, might be on the ‘every second’ part, but else is real!

3. Sense of distance

Whenever we text someone, we realized that we are actually far from each other. However, the constant communication can slowly affects the sense of distance. The painful thing is that, we are not even close and it will create some frustration when something happened.

4. Sense of voice

I think I mentioned this in one of my poem. Text messages

Not everyone has the ability to ‘know’ the senders mood or voice through text. Perhaps,  if you are a psychic or equipped with extraordinary sixth sense, you might know. As for me, that is the most unwanted things to do. I don’t want to guess, I prefer it to be straight forward. Why? It’s easier that way!

5. Sense of situation

We will never know what is going on at either sides. I think this one explained itself. One thing that I can’t help to wonder is that, when I was in school or in college, I never think about it too much. But now, being alone sometimes is the best thing that I can have, working life changed me a lot. Even so, being alone is good but having loneliness is scary. Loneliness kills.

At this point, I am really dried up on idea. However, I just went back from watching Yuta Tanaka live performance. Listening to his music is always a refreshing experience. The reason I really like him is because, I really like his music. He express himself and pour it into his songs. I can feel the sense of genuine emotions in his songs. I really do. You can find Yuta Tanaka through his website here: Yuta Tanaka Official Website

As I mentioned above, when did everything started to change? It was basically on my last relationship and that was like 4 years ago… We love to text each other and basically like any other lovers who are young. She was carrying her thoughts alone and I didn’t realized that. Everything looks normal between us until it was too late. I have moved on and its a lesson that I would like to share to everyone. Texting is fine but there is a clear line on when face to face interaction is needed.

Nowadays, I really enjoy a good conversation face to face. I can see reaction, I can hear intonation, I can feel intention, and I feel more connected. Conversation is much more interesting face to face. That is what I believe.

Before I wrap things up, I want to leave you a very good TED Talk by Julian Treasure.

I hope everyone have a great weekend! Stay safe!

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Daily Prompt: Dancing (Of that Summer’s heat)

via Daily Prompt: Dancing

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Image from: http://www.pinterest.com

In that Summer’s heat,
We stand close,
Our eyes locked,
We can clearly feel,
Our heartbeat,
Screaming to each other,
Wanting more and more,
As we swirl around the field,
Following the wonderful breeze,
We know our roles well,
We pray the memories last,
As we sway left and right,
Through the songs of nature,
We don’t have to say much,
But our bond became stronger,

Yet,
We became stranger,
No longer dancing,
Only muted melody,
And forgotten steps,
Of that Summer’s heat.

Ally’s Thoughts: Self Actualization Program

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Source: Times of Success
For the past three days, I was away to support a program for my company. It’s a self-actualization program for our new comers. I was in charged on the photography and my boss told me to absorb and process everything on the program. So, I did.

1st Day

To summarized the first day with one word, it would be, emotional. The trainer and his facilitators are good in engaging the participants. From what I observed, they distracted them with some activities and made some diversion from their true intention… that they kept until the last program. The session sounded cruel but it was necessary.

The first day, it is all about realizing your self value. Throughout the first day, I was taking pictures and sat at the back. While listening to the trainer in front, I have the feeling of reading my own blog. The motivational speeches and the things he mentioned basically something that I would usually say in my blog. It’s about realizing that you are something!

I’ve been through a lot and I believe that the participants were too. Perhaps, they have been through a lot more than me. I faced family problems, personality problems, self inflict problems, suicidal thoughts, relationship problems and much more. To stand up after each events were not easy, it was never easy. It requires a lot of energy, time and motivation. What’s worst is, I did it all alone. Just because I couldn’t count and trust others at that time. Then, I realized that slowly, I need to open up. I did learned how to open up, I tried to heal myself slowly through the times. I had my biggest turning point in my life, I did mentioned it in this post.

Ally’s Thoughts: Will my life be better?

My first step was volunteering myself. I volunteered for an anime event, Animangaki. The event taught me how important to be motivated, work with others, enjoy your present life and do something that you like. After that, I feel refreshed and happy. I feel like I can do something, I am capable of doing something. I am not worthless! Then, they did an exercise called ‘Feedback’ on how your friends think about you. This session reminded me of my interview in Garena. I had to fill up a paper and one of the question was, What do you think your friend think of you? My first reaction about it was… clueless. I was really clueless! In my thought, how the hell am I supposed to know on how others think about me. Why? Because they never told me anything and… I never asked.

Something that I understand later in life. I rarely exposed to something such as friend to friend talks. Whenever me and friends talk to each other, we mostly talk about the things we did, what we want to do and talk about silly things. We rarely talk about something that touches each other feeling. The feeling of respect, admiration, the pleasant, and the unpleasant stuff between each other. We are friends but we only scratches the surface of each other. Now it got me thinking, are we real friends? Or we are just that kind of friends? I don’t know.

To open up was never an easy decision, there a lot of things that I don’t want to say especially regarding my past. I always labelled my past as dark because it is something that I want to forget. However, things can never really forgotten unless we embrace it and accept it. We can never move on unless we accept it. We can’t be in denial forever. That is what I learnt.

2nd  Day

On the second day, the program emphasized on good values in ourselves. There are three that were pointed out, spontaneous, trust, and courage. The programs filled with various activities in hope to plant the values deep in their heart. What about me? How can I relate to these values?

Spontaneous – From what I understand in being spontaneous, whenever I made a choice in life, it doesn’t mean everything will go as planned. One or two things will eventually stirred away and we have to improvise. There are times that I have to take spontaneous actions in order to move on or proceed on the things that I want to do. Sometimes, it totally worth it. If it’s not, I’ll just have to swallow it and keep on looking ahead.

Trust – I am quite trusting myself. I never really consider myself as someone who have trust issue. The only real result would be from someone who have betrayed my trust and it will be hard for them to earn them back. My principle when it comes to trust, it comes with respect. Same like respect, you are not entitle to them but you have to earn them. That is what I believe in.

Courage – As an introvert, I have my time of doubts. However, if I have to step out of my safe-zone, I am not afraid as long as I am prepared. I prefer to be prepared first before I do something. Somehow, that made me realized that I am not that courageous.

Day 3

The last day was pretty tiring for me. Last night they (the new hired) were planning for a movie night but due to some technical difficulties, we were unable to do it. We improvised in playing Heads up and Mafia. They really enjoyed playing Mafia. Like really enjoyed it. We ended up sleeping so late. In the morning they had some outdoor activities. On the afternoon, the topic is vision. The trainer wanted us to do a vision map, it’s a collage on how do you see yourself in 10 years later. I somehow managed to do one thanks to my encouraging boss.

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Somehow, I’m pretty sure what I wanted for the next 10 years of my life! By the year  2027, in my romantic relationship, I pretty much married with children. I will no longer have career crisis (even though I still have it now, I need to be sure what should I do on the next 10 years), I will be able to travel more, and I will be on track in my investment so I could retire by the age of 40. Yes, I want to retire by the age of 40 if everything went on smoothly. I have less than 20 years but… I’ll try my best!

In conclusion for the three days program, I must say that I know who I am, what I want to do, what I want to achieve, how to do it, how worthy I am and I know my strength and weakness. I actually knew all these before I help to support the program. However, I take the program as a refresher and reminder on the things that I have forgotten.


Just to mention that this program was on the 19th to the 21st October, this post was on draft for almost a week now. I had to support another program two days ago means, I am quite busy with works lately.

Before I end the post, I want to ask you a question. How would you describe me? I would like to hear your answer. Thank you.

 

Break me, Break them

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Source: circleofimprovements.com

Break me,
Break them,
Then you’ll see,
How resilient we are,
Though we are weak,
And we break down,
Every time we face challenges,
We will come back,
And smile  when we survive,
Standing proud in front of you,
World.

Human emotions are like diamonds

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Source: Youtube

Human emotions are like diamonds,
Located deep down the earth,
It’s hard to reach,
Consumes a lot of  resources,
Money and Time,
Imagine the ore,
Rough and unrefined,
Shines dimly and wanted attention,
A diamond can never be shaped,
Using hands alone,
It requires special tools and skills,
Then a perfectly shaped diamond formed,
On your hand gracefully,
Beautifully reflecting the light,
Passing through the spectrum,
Flashing rainbow,
Like human emotions,
Bright colors means happiness,
Dark colors means sadness,
The diamond showed so much,
After all that hardship,
On finding it and shaping it.

 

I reach out my hand

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I reach out my hand,
Take me away,
To the endless rift,
In reality and fantasy,
Bring the best and worst of me,
Into the unforgiving imaginary,
Or give me the sweetest heavenly  memory,
So I won’t forget,
Everything that happened,
In an instant,
Because I remembered,
The hands that grabbed mine,
Was mine.

Ally’s Thoughts: Signs of A Loyal Person

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Image from: ugorod

How to be sure that a person is the loyal type? Are there signs or something to look out for? There are many articles out there informing us the signs on a loyal and faithful person. In this article, I will share with you the secret and tips to help you in identifying them. Before I continue any further, this article is just for light, fun, and leisure reading only.

The first big sign is obviously something you can observe from that person. Look at his wallet! A loyal person will value something that has been with them for a long time. Example? Take me. I have been using the same wallet that I bought in 2011! I’m seriously attached with the wallet. My wallet looks really worn out and I had to stitch it myself.

The second sign is he don’t really care what others talk about him. He never listen to other’s judgmental opinion. We are at the age where we desire approval from others, especially in social media. We toast with the one who agrees with us and ended up hating whoever disagree with us. I don’t really care what others might think about me. Whenever I hang out with typical people, they will always have this ‘standard’ that they consider acceptable. I’m not the type who will eventually play to their standard, I will mostly be considered weird or unacceptable. If you know someone who don’t bend to social standard, he or she is worth considering.

The third sign is  he always firm on his choices. A good and reliable person is someone who already know what he want! Choices are tough and hard but when someone made the calls, they should be confident and firm. Of course, like me! When I have a plan, I will ensure that everything run smooth because I want everything to go well. Especially on important occasions.

Other worthy to mention signs are determination and commitment! These two can come hard nowadays. If you want to achieve something, its not uncommon to show these two features. Imagine if someone wants something and you don’t show determination and commitment, do you think he is reliable? Do you think he is a loyal type? I’m not ashamed to say that, I am a determined and committed person when I know what I want!

This may look like a hard sell on myself, but to be honest, I just want to write something that is light and silly.


I hope you guys have a great weekend! I will be super busy until November. Somehow, I really need something good happening in my life  right now. Wishing all the best to myself and to my fellow friends and readers as well! See you again!