Ally’s Thoughts: Bitcoin is a scam? Intro

close up of coins
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Is it? Of course it is not. Scammers tricked unsuspecting desperate people thinking it is the fastest way to help their financial troubles.

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the long break and silence. I was pretty busy with work for the past few months until I no longer have one. Surprised? Me too.

I have been working in a media company that focused on cryptocurrency and blockchain technology. I have like zero knowledge about the industry and I was clueless. However, six months into it, I am not expert but I am moderately informed. So to speak.

I will share with all of you on what I have learned and acquired. Therefore, you will not be fooled or scammed by these scammers. I am here to raise awareness about what is Bitcoin and how to educate yourself about Bitcoin!

There are so many things I wanted to share, I will break Ally’s Thoughts into few parts. So, you won’t get confused or get a headache because of too much information.

Alright, let’s begin!

Ally’s Thoughts: Bitcoin is a scam? Intro
Ally’s Thoughts: Bitcoin is a scam? Part 1
Ally’s Thoughts: Bitcoin is a scam? Part 2


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And own every sins I made

forest photography
Photo by Francesco Ungaro on Pexels.com

If I were given the chances,
To return back to the times,
Where I have to decide,
A lot of things,
That led me here,

To every poisonous words,
The severed bonds,
The silent tears,
And the boulders like burden,
On both of my shoulders,

To every heartbreaks,
The unbearable pain,
The guilt till eternity,
Still running in my blood,
Rushing through my soul,

To every regrets,
The unspoken words,
The locked feelings,
The untold emotions,
Of sparks that never burns,

To every hour of my time,
The lost dreams,
The efforts for nothing,
Too much wasted,
Staring the invisible walls,

To every romantics,
The soft pleasures,
The intimate moments,
Eventually disconnected,
A caretaker for others,

I will not turn back,
I will not return,
I will not seek,
Nor I will sell my soul,
Just to get one more chance,

I want to accept,
I want to admit,
I want to carry the weight,
And learn to lessen it,
In each conquered days,

Let it be my strength,
Let it be my guidance,
Let it be a reminder,
To all the things I couldn’t change,
So I can be better,

I may not live for myself,
But I am not giving up for others,
To the ones already here,
And the ones to come,
I will be here,

Even it offers me heaven,
To undo everything,
In hell I will be,
And own every sins I made.

Is a surrendering sigh

maxresdefault
Source: YouTube

I couldn’t say a word,
Yet my mind are screaming,
I couldn’t feel a thing,
Yet the cold crawls on my skin,
I couldn’t let a tear,
Yet this heart ache and bleed,

The only sign of frustration,
Is a surrendering sigh.

“Where to eat for lunch?”

food on table
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Some days are crazy,
Some days are lazy,
Some days are pity,
Some days are maybe,

As I looked up,
Or down,
To the high blue sky,
Or to the low green ground,

I am still confused,
Filled of uncertainty,
Even if the world does not depend on me,
I still cannot figure it out,

“Where to eat for lunch?”

So, think better on what you can do

the-bridge1
Source: Taste of Cinema

Have you looked outside the window?
Maybe the door or the house?
Far away from the shadow,
When the time stopped you can’t browse,

Then tell me,
How could you see the fortunate,
Or the unfortunate,
When your eyes shut and you always late,

Silly, that you can’t figure it out,
Then you taunt for a bout,
You act strong like a stout,
But my punches keeps you knocked out,

No, I am not really angry,
Just letting off steam and spare energy,
Plus all these words and creativity,
I can’t store them personally,

Life is harsh and everyone else too,
So, think better on what you can do,

Dalam diam gelap jiwaku terikat

dark_room_by_ikiz
Source: innocentstore.sk

Banyak yang nak aku luah,
Dari dulu sampai kini tiba,
Ada yang kecil, besar, shallow dan deep jua,
Tentang isu manusia, kucing, panda dan buaya,
Dari A sampai Z tapi aku buntu pada siapa,

Yang nak dengar bukan manusia,
Yang dengar bukan makhluk bernyawa,
Daripada kabus ilusi aku jampi jadi nyata,
Tiada yang akan menikam aku dalam dunia,

Suaraku bisu mulut ku terkunci rapat,
Tapi suara minda ku bergema kuat,
Lama kelamaan bayangan jadi hakikat,
Dalam diam gelap jiwaku terikat.

Ally’s Thoughts: To The World I Don’t Belong

silhouette of bird flying
Photo by amy chung on Pexels.com

Hi all,

Note that this is a post that has been in my draft since January. I was in a struggle with no chance of winning, well I was wrong. I haven’t win the war yet but the victory in the countless battles strengthened me.

Therefore, I am sharing this as a reminder for myself and to share how dreadful the feeling was at that time.

Thank you.


I think, this will be my last post. I am retiring, not as a writer but as a living breathing thing.

I have been struggling too long, too long that I don’t know why I’m still here. Too long that I don’t have any more reasons to reason with my inner self, “Why am I still here?”. I am too tired to argue again about it.

Family? No.

Friends? No.

Love? No.

Work? No.

Future? No.

Hell and eternal damnation? No.

It is too tough to keep going only to be hopeful and telling myself that everything going to be alright. Everything will eventually work out. No. It doesn’t work that way. The situation and surrounding is just too ridiculous. It is petty too.

My effort? I tried. Many times.

I learned to accept. Doesn’t work.

I learned to forgive. Doesn’t work.

I learned to love. Doesn’t work.

I learned to better person. Doesn’t work.

I learned to believe. Doesn’t work.

I learned to fear. Doesn’t work.

I learned to trust. Doesn’t work.

I learned to forget. Doesn’t work.

I learned too much that it drove me crazy.

Until the very end, my inner self still want to reason with me. I had enough. Too much conflict in my head and it is too tiring. Not to mention the conflicts outside my head.

I can’t function properly.

I can’t breath properly.

I can’t love properly.

I can’t live properly.

I can’t. I won’t.

I gave up. Too long… Too long…

For my last words, I am not apologizing. I want to say my gratitude for keeping me this long. I had wished for it since I was 10 and I never get it. I was not brave enough to take it myself. I envy the others who decide to do it. Thank you.

“I tried and I did not fail. I just stopped and took a long stop.”