In a long endless river.

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I sit on the yellow grass,
Surrounded by tall brown trees,
Not a glimpse of green in sight,
Painted by the orange light of sunset,

The thoughts roam free,
Like the slow-crawling clouds,
Yet the heart is frozen still,
Unmoved and unfazed,

To be stuck and torn,
Between thoughts and reality,
Like being swept by the current,
In a long endless river.

Ally’s Thoughts: 2022 Malaysian General Election. Why do I vote?

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Hi friends and readers,

Today’s thought might not be for everyone because it involves my dearest country’s future, the general election. It is the 15th Malaysian general election after our Prime Minister dissolved the parliament.

Immediately after I reached the eligible age to vote, I registered myself as a voter. This was before the recent amendment for Undi18 which automatically registered people at the age of 18 as voters. Why did I register to vote? It is simply because of what was happening around the previous general election, the 2008 Malaysian general election. The countless rallies demanded change, political tsunamis, and the first female opposition leader. All these things made me think about what is going on, in Malaysia.

I’m curious.

I started to have the need to learn. Who are the politicians, which parties, what are the policies, and how does this country reach this point? The media was so disgusting at the time with its one-sided views plus numerous sex scandals during prime time news. Not to mention how the media keeps on painting the opposition as the devil that will disrupt the harmony and stability of this country. Where does all this unfairness and slander come from? Does this happen to other countries as well? Is this how politics should be? I have a lot of questions back then.

The most important step to take is to question. Then, I started to care. I learned to take interest in what’s going on in politics. I started to care about the national budget. I also started to care about national policy even though it doesn’t concern me much. I want to see progress. I saw that being independent for half a century and yet, racial discrimination is still strong. I grew up in the system, education system, yet, I don’t understand how things look so different in politics.

To be a voter.

With all those questions, curiosity, and realizations, I decided to be a voter. Ever since then, the upcoming 2022 Malaysian general election will be my third general election plus one by-election. While the game of politics can be an overwhelming one, especially for younger generations. Heck, even for me too. I believe what is the most important thing is to have something that you want for the country. I want stability but with progressive policies, I want to eradicate racial discrimination and biases by promoting a stronger bond of real unity, I want real planning with actions to tackle the climbing cost of living and improve Malaysia’s economy.

And lastly, I want to have leaders with high integrity and clear policies. I don’t want leaders that keep on badmouthing others, inciting racial discrimination, riding religious cards, and belittling the rakyat – citizens.

For those who wonder.

If you are wondering, should you vote? Who should I vote for? Everyone sucks here, I should not vote at all! Before I proceed, I would like to invite you to read about what made me a Malaysian below. When you have a solid foundation of what you are and a strong understanding of Malaysia, you will develop your own answer.

Back to the previous questions, voting is the basic thing that you can do for Malaysia. It is the bare minimum. If you ask what is the point if the candidate doesn’t look good at all? It is time for you to sit down and think about this carefully. You may think that your vote means nothing because you are just one person. However, you are not the only person having the same thoughts and ideas. There are other people facing the same dilemma as you. They are sitting on the fence and you are one of them. You will be surprised to find out that some candidates win and lose by a small margin

The next one is which one does align with your values. Some parties have different merit and narratives. If you understand your values, why not find out which parties are the closest to yours. At least, that is the basic thing to understand why you vote for someone or parties.

Finally, I understand that changes are scary. There are so many narratives frightening us if we welcome something new or something progressive. However, in some ways, the current conditions are not even better. Our economy doesn’t fare well, racism is obvious out in the open, ridiculous and uneducated remarks from so-called leaders, public infrastructure issues, and a lot more. If you don’t even feel the slightest frustration, I applaud you for not being affected. I know my life did.

So, if you are a registered voter. Go out there and do your duty. At least we still have this democracy and we still have the power to decide. Trust me, after a few times, even though the candidate I voted for lost, I learned to accept and respect the process. Endure and vote again next time.

Without release.

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How should I describe this exhaustion?
Like a gold mine?
Dry of gold,
Like a lake?
Not a single drop of water,
Or a mobile phone,
Clinging to the red one percent,
Or perhaps,
A dying body,
Trying to draw a breath,
The last breath,
Clinging strong at the neck,
Without a release.

Because I was dizzy.

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As I close my eyes,
It was dark,
Yet,
It swirls,
It sways,
It throbs,
Like the tall grass,
Dancing in the heaviest storm,
And the powerful tornado,
While the earth splits,
The tall grass stays,
Down but not defeated,
Still deeply rooted in the soil,
Surviving all the violent rush,
But for me,
I swirl, sway, and throb,
Because I was dizzy.

Another day of wonder.

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Thank you for being here,
When the world was never kind,
When you have to walk alone,
When your life turned upside down,

Thank you for being strong,
And never stop to believe,
Even when the sky is dark,
In the bright daylight,

I may never understand the pain,
For every step you took,
Nor I will ever feel the same,
Bleeding cuts you made,

Yours is yours alone,
It will never be mine,
It will never be theirs,
Only you will understand,

Even so, you are not alone,
Just look to your side,
There is a soul in need,
Going through the harsh road,

Thank you for believing,
And made it here,
Another day of uncertainty,
Another day of wonder.

I saw him today

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I saw him today,
Sitting alone,
Trying his best,
To spend his jolly time,
As time passes,
I saw a void,
Rooted in his heart,
Sprawling and covering him,
He still smiles and laughs,
He tried to juggle,
Manage every expectation,
Until the void exploded,
Consuming him,
Exhausting him,
Crushing him,
Irrationality claimed him,

I saw him today,
Drained.

How far has this soul traveled?

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How far has this soul traveled?
The stretch of great distance,
The stillness of passing time,
The weather of heavy emotions,
The fragility of encounters,
And still this soul, struggles,
And still, this soul tries,
And still this soul,
Have to suffer,
From all this pain,
Slithering throughout the soul’s existence.