How are you? Another interesting question for the daily prompt and I can’t help myself but to chip in my thoughts. Which aspects do you think makes a person unique?
I believe after going through my training as a certified life coach and my previous encounters with many people. I can say for sure what made them unique in my opinion.
Before we talk about the aspect that they have, let’s reflect on ourselves first. How often does we look at someone and apply our own bias? We will also judge them as in first impression as well. It’s nothing wrong because that’s how our brain are trained to protect ourselves. What matters is how would you react to that information and how would you treat that person.
Personally for me, I do have my own bias and being judgmental. However, I don’t act upon it. So this is for me, the aspect that makes a person unique, from my perspective.
I accept their strengths and weaknesses without comparing them to other people.
I believe everyone is unique. It’s depend on how you define uniqueness. For me, someone’s strengths and weaknesses are their uniqueness. They don’t need to be compared to someone else. They have gone through a lot of experience that shapes them the way they are.
I had this conversation with a peer asking what do I think of her. She have the tendency to compare herself with others. I said that, you are who you are. There’s no one else in this world like you. It’s not fair to compare yourself to others because they didn’t go through the same life experience as yours. While they might have the qualities that you don’t posses and you want them, take your time to build that quality instead of just comparing. That is because you also don’t know the journey that they had to go through to get that quality.
In a way, for me, being unique is also about being authentic to one’s self. It’s like, yes, you may meet a lot more new people in the future but you’ll never meet someone like me. Simply because I am one of a kind.
What do you think?
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I feel like joining today’s prompt because it’s something that is close to my work in a sense. Being a life coach and a peer support, encountering different ideals and perspective is totally normal. Everyone has their own belief system and in a way there should be mutual respect. However, not everyone would agree and think in the same way.
What’s something most people don’t understand?
The existence of different perspective. The example I can share is about how we see struggle. For some people, struggle is necessary. For some people, it doesn’t have to. Let’s say we want to achieve something like completing a degree. Of course we have to go through a lot of things like courseworks, tests and navigating university life. This is where it gets interesting for me.
For some people, they see going through all those as a struggle. It’s not wrong and it’s just how we want to view it. In a different perspective, we can view it as a challenges that helps to shape a person’s identity. Back to the point, there are different perspective on how we can see things in life. Not everythings has to be on the extreme end of each other.
It’s like seeing life in black and white where the world is actually filled with different colors. I think one of the lesson I want to share is that be open to new perspectives. It’s fine if we don’t agree as long as there is a firm understanding and mutual respect. Definitely there will be tolerance in between,
Maybe that’s just me, what about you?
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Recently, I watched a Vietnamese movie on Netflix called Dreamy Eyes (Mắt biếc) released in 2019. Here is a description from IMDb:
Through heartbreak and betrayal, a young man’s unrequited love for his childhood best friend endures for a generation in this sweeping romance.
And here is the trailer for the movie.
As usual, I’m not going to review about the movie but I want to share about the theme or questions that made me ponder after watching it. I was actually want to talk about the thought of how long someone should wait but I talked about this movie to a friend and she raised a question that was really interesting to me.
This post may contain spoilers, if you don’t want to be spoiled, feel free to divert your attention away right now. If you are unfazed to any spoilers, come and join me to ponder-land.
First, let’s talk about the first question.
How long should we wait for someone?
In the movie, Ngan has been attracted to Ha Lan since young. He did not set his eyes on anyone else even after a lot of things happened between them. The story span until they are in their thirties. In the end, when both realizes that one has been sacrificing too much and the other has been taking everything for granted, it’s probably too late.
I believe the question is not really straightforward as it seems. It really depends on the situation. Is it one-sided? Is it mutual? Is it long distance? Is it this? Is it that? Is it about pursuing one’s dream career or passion?
In a different perspective, it is also relatable to the concept of ‘right person at the wrong time’. In which a concept that I don’t favor at all. To me, there is no such thing as ‘the right person at the wrong time’, it’s just the unfavorable situation that leads to someone decided not to pursue and cut off the relationship. Most probably out of the inconveniences that happened.
Back to the question, in terms of waiting someone, why does waiting even an option? I see life as a journey and each of us is moving forward to a different direction and it’s never a linear path. Why we even have to wait? Why not go through the journey together and see if it’s working or not? It’s the so-called test. Most likely the notion of I’ll wait is just compensating in lack of a certain aspect of the relationship. In a way, I’m babbling too much at this point.
For example in the case of this movie, Nhan patiently waiting for Ha Lan and sacrificed everything for her. While he most likely has a high hope that Ha Lan will return to the village with her and accept her love, I noticed that he never really communicate what he really wanted. If I remember correctly, there were not a single scene that they really talk about what they want from each other.
As for my opinion, before we even say we are willing to wait for someone, we need to be clear on so many things first. Have the necessary talk on needs and expectations, future plans, and be decisive on what do we really want. I think in a way, the idea of supporting each other will be the key that leads to the better option which is ‘why wait. let’s get through this together’.
What about you? What’s your idea of waiting for someone?
Do you choose someone that love you OR someone that you love?
I had a conversation with a friend and I told her about this movie. We ended up talking about the question above because I asked her who will you choose, someone that love you OR someone that you love?
Because in the movie, while Ngan was pursuing Ha Lan, there is a character that has been chasing Ngan, Hong. I see Hong in the same position as Ngan but somehow, Hong was really clear with her intention and often try to convey that feeling to Ngan. Unfortunately, it’s unrequited.
Then, my friend said something that really, again took me to ponder-land. She said;
Do you love someone because you need them? Or do you need them that’s why you love them?
At first, it does sounds the same thing but after giving it a deeper thought, it’s really different. From my perspective and understanding nowadays, there are so many ways to show love to someone. In a romantic context, the goal doesn’t have to be ‘being in a relationship with the person’. To be able to show support is also a form of love. It’s also about understanding how much you are willing to give without losing your self-worth.
As for the question she asked, I’ll choose the person that love me within the certain acceptable context. Again, life is not always black and white. It depends. Each one of us might go through a similar situation but completely different background.
It’s been awhile since I write something that is really interesting to ponder. Please, feel free to share your thoughts and opinion on the comment section!
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How are you? I hope you are doing well. This is a long outstanding post and only today I have time to complete it.
I would like to invite you to listen to Su San’s new EP, Under Milk Wood! I’ll share the Spotify link below.
According to an interview, this EP is inspired by a Welsh poet, Dylan Thomas. Under the same title, Under Milk Wood is a radio drama about a small Welsh fishing village, Llareggub.
Previously, I’ve shared a couple of her songs here. For this EP, if you are interested in something dark but somewhat relatable, I insist for you to listen. Whenever I listen to the EP, I think the most apparent feelings would be being absorbed and captivated by her voice and music. I don’t think it is an easy experience to explain because to tell you the truth, I’m wordless to describe it perfectly.
I hope it’s not too late to wish everyone Happy New Year 2024! I had a busy December and it continued to January. How is your January so far?
I hangout with a couple of friends on early January and one of the question asked was what is my new year’s resolution.
I’m not really the type of person that usually have new year’s resolutions. I don’t even remember if I have one for 2023. And if I were to summarise my 2023, it was another roller coster kind-of-a-year. How so? I’ve experienced a lot of things like work on a supposedly six months project but cut out within the third months, started to work part-time in retail, becoming a certified life coach, went on a series of hikes, went to social dance classes, went water raftings, campings, watching my favorite artist performing live, psychotherapy and surviving the year 2023.
So many things has happened and I think the biggest change would be on my mental health. I feel a lot better and optimistic. I also learnt more about myself like how dancing and hiking really helps with my mood. It’s much better than the last time I took my meds.
Of course there were sour moments that became scars emotionally. I learnt to walk through it and experience it fully so it is easier to move forward. Don’t you think so too?
Back to my friend’s question, I said ‘probably my new year resolution is to live my life fully every day’. She then said something that stuck in my head ever since, ‘why don’t you try to aim for something bigger?’.
I might need to go revisit my personal goals go from there. Personally for me, living my life every single day is big enough. Probably because I am used to the thoughts of not wanting to live and waiting for my life to end. And in all those years of surviving every single day without caring for my own needs.
However, I do know that I need to cover some bases right now. For 2024, I want to keep on focusing on my personal growth, my mental health, life coaching, improves my social circle, and live with a smile every day.
I’ll probably share more on my life coaching services or I would call Peer Support service in my upcoming post. What’s your focus for 2024?
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I hope you are doing well and we are in December now. Wishing everyone good health and a strong mind going through the last days of the year 2023.
Every year, Spotify releases Spotify Wrapped that shares the stats for users and artists. Usually for regular users, the stats are about top artists, top songs, genres and much more. I feel like sharing mine this year because my Spotify Wrapped is dominated by one singer, Su San.
In my previous posts, I did share couples of her songs here and shared my thoughts about it. In case you missed it, I’m sharing the link below.
I’m actually surprised myself because this is unexpected.
Who are my Top 5 artists in 2023?
Pretty mixed because of the phases of things I had to go this year. I started to learn Vietnamese and listen to Vietnamese pop songs. So, that’s the reason why. I’m not sure what I’m going through when I can’t stop listening to Cradle of Filth. Probably need to scream the soul out of me.
I am top 0.001% fans listening to Su San worldwide
I guess I can put this in my own personal achievement in 2023. If you think being in 1% is high, I’ve never guessed I would be in the 0.001% ! I’m happy and at the same time I call this madness. Probably it’s going to get higher next year because she just released a new song and new album next year! I can’t wait.
If you are using Spotify, how is your Spotify Wrapped this year? You can share it in the comment.
If you enjoy my work do download my ebooks. It helps me a lot if you read it and share it with others. I really appreciate it.
Where is the line, Of the unseen boundary, That I have crossed, To reach here, A disappointment, A heart break, An endless drama, Playing in my head, On repeat, Without a hint of resolution, Stuck in conflict, One after another,
Regardless, This is just another experience, Phases to get through, Processing thoughts and feelings, Because I am a human, Vulnerable of being hurt, A single cut and bleed, A broken bone and scream, A shattered heart and despair,
Tell that to my hopeful self, Ask him how many times, He was beaten by the wild beast, Of so called-life, And ask him how many times, He gets up, Overcoming one after another, Challenges, pauses, breaks,
Oh, good things takes time, It requires patience, It needs energy and resources, Which I don’t have, Say it with a privillage, See it with the glass of reality, This hands filled with cuts and bruises, This body left with skins and bones,
To live this far is amazing, That is an achievement itself, Yes, it is, Achievements and accolades, Yet a different reality, A continuous struggles, Like the never ending waves, In a raging untamable sea,
Why can’t I succumb and sink? Even the greatest ships can sink, Defeated by the force of nature, Oh, I love myself so much, I love myself that I am willing to let go, The greatest gift I can give to myself, Is not to stay and suffer, But let go and be at peace, Why do I have to choose, Between pain till my last breath, And relieve in being breathless,
Isn’t the choice is obvious? At least it is to me.
I can’t help but write about today’s prompt. It’s a wishful thinking way of thought but it will be possible if you buy a course OR become a member of Transformation Academy by using my promo code. More details below!
Full-Time Traveler
Is being a traveler considered a job? I am considering it is a job. Going everywhere and sharing the things I’ve seen and experienced with others. I want to explore different cultures around the world. Believe me, there are so many things to do if traveling is a job!
Full-Time Volunteer
This is something that I’ve been trying to achieve ever since I’ve started my life coaching journey. I want to spend my time volunteering to help others, specifically on personal growth and development. So, if you think you need a life coach or peers support, feel free to reach out to me. I’m volunteering myself and took the first step of becoming a full-time volunteer without the ‘money didn’t matter’ part.
A Venture Capitalist
I can’t help to put this one. Being a VC is something that I think is really necessary to help grow business ideas. There are many good sustainable projects that need funding. Some projects are able to transform and change the life of many communities and individuals.
So, if money didn’t matter, what kind of job would you do?
I think the biggest piece of advice that I have ever received is when I was in a therapy session. Not really advice but a moment of realization. At the time, I was struggling to identify my sense of purpose and I felt like I was clueless and aimless without one. What I realized was that, the sense of purpose doesn’t have to be something big, something noble, it doesn’t have to be complicated at all.
“You wanted to survive is also a purpose.” – Liz Ong, my therapist
As I started to think that way, living my life day to day is also a purpose. Not everyone lives the same life. Everyone has their own circumstances and situations to deal with. It is not about comparing myself to others. I don’t even want to compare.
So, the advice that I have to give to myself after that moment of realization is that;
Go and live your life because you are not promised tomorrow.
It helps me to live in the present and appreciate every moment of it. It doesn’t matter if it’s happiness, sadness, pain, regrets or any conflicting and mixed feelings I had. I learned to accept that it is a part of my journey. It helps me to get through my challenges and obstacles. There are days that feel hard but I am always reminded that I am alive, living life, here, today.
Write Ally! Write! 