How would I describe this feeling eating inside of me? Would it be better if everything is plain and numb? I experience too much and I feel too much, But I’m just living like a human should be,
Every time I think about all the things eating me up, I just want to slow down and lie down for the rest of my life, What is this phase in my life that I have to go through? I don’t believe that I still have the strength to go on,
My therapist said that I’m not alone, Yet, this is too hard, Yet, this is too tiring, I can only say all these in lines,
As much as I have to admit, I’ve been holding on to something called hope, Why does this hope come with pain? And all the struggle that came down with it?
There is no answer for me, All I can do now is to let it be.
What is my biggest fear? I don’t have any, I’m not fearless nor I’m brave, I can get anxious, I do fear, But the biggest is something I don’t have,
I learn not to have any expectations, Not because I fear the worst, Nor because I don’t want to be let down, I learn to experience, To enjoy the moment even in pain,
If there is a hungry tiger, Yes, I will be in fear, But living that moment, It is either I’ll be their dinner, Or I survived, harmed or unharmed,
The biggest fear isn’t happening, Until it happened and when it happened, It’s a reality and all I have to do is, To experience it and live for today, Not to mope about yesterday, or anxious about tomorrow.