Ally’s Thoughts: Why I Joined the Mind Gardening with Arts by A Lusher Mind program?

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Hi friends and readers,

Remember my post on my first session on Mind Gardening with Arts by A Lusher Mind? If you missed it, you can read it here.

Ally’s Thoughts: Mind Gardening with Arts by A Lusher Mind Part 1

Currently, I joined their BETA program. If you are interested to join the full program, sign up for their waitlist. You can find the details on A Lusher Mind Instagram account. Check it out here.

Why I joined this program?

The truth is I feel like my creativity has dried up. Whenever I read my poems back, I kinda miss the creativity I had when I started this journey. More so, if I compared it to my younger self, it feels barren and lacking. Not to mention the different style, the witty play of words, and the sweetest imagination that I can no longer taste.

There are times I think that this is probably how one’s style changed as one matured. If that is the case, I’m slowly turning into someone who is bland, mediocre, and lacking. Or it is probably because of my situation and environment. Either way, I started to feel sick of writing depressing words. I did a post about it.

Ally’s Thoughts: My poems are depressing

Again, the same question I would ask is, what is a poet if they are not true to their feelings?

If all I’ve been feeling is these dark voids and spots, I should do something about it. Yet, it is not all bad. It is all a process and journey. I do feel sick of writing it that way but I accept it. It is how I feel. My own feeling. At the same time, I do feel invigorated writing about self-growth. I do feel good writing about positivity. I am healing. I feel like I am transitioning. Shedding old skin.

After taking consideration of all those thoughts popping and arguing inside my head. Why don’t I try something? And I found Mind Gardening with Arts. I signed up for their BETA program. From my first session, I think it is totally worth it.

One thing that I hold close to is that I want to experience. Through experience, all the senses in my body will taste and feel the journey. All the good and bad. Go through it. Explore it. Grow out of it. Write it.

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I don’t need sleep to dream

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I don’t need sleep to dream,
To run away from reality,
To seek refuge in comfort,
To fill the void in me,

I just need an idea,
To believe in fantasy,
To imagine the unseen,
To live in illusion,

I live in the sweetest lie,
A blanket to cover,
All the ugliest truth,
All the corrupted thoughts,

I hide within myself,
As I tear it inside out.

Ally’s Thoughts: Mind Gardening with Arts by A Lusher Mind Part 1

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Hi friends and readers,

I hope you are having a great day. If not, I hope you will get through the hardship you are facing soon. Let’s do our best to keep on going even when we know tomorrow is not what we have hoped for. Nothing wrong with being hopeful. Nothing wrong in believing things will get better.

Today I had my first session of Mind Gardening with Arts by A Lusher Mind. I signed up for their beta program a couple of weeks ago. Now, I am on this program for four weeks. If you are curious about A Lusher Mind and their initiatives, feel free to check their Instagram. Click Here!

The Mind Gardening with Arts is a program through intentional artmaking to strengthen our minds while exploring our creativity. For the beta program, I will be on this journey for four weeks exploring intentional artmaking through different mediums. The medium is visual arts, music, and words. I had my introductory session last Monday and I can’t help to feel excited about my first session which happened earlier today.

For my first session, the concept is self-essence. The medium for this week is visual art. Have you ever thought of your own essence? What makes you, you? For this session, I associated my essence with an ember. Last year I had a chance to get a personalized reading based on the elements. The person told me that I have a fire personality but not a wild kind of fire but smaller ones like an ember. It sounds weak and fragile. However, is it? Every fire starts small, but with the right condition, it can burn the whole world. Somehow, it reminded me whenever I feel so passionate about something that I won’t back down easily.

Back to the session, I decided to use gouache paint. I started to draw the ember in me. I will not be sharing it here but I have it on my Instagram. A heads up, the painting is elementary and it’s not for everyone. Be warned! Check the painting here.

From the session, I believe I know who I want to be and what I want to achieve. I know how and what I need. I also know what stops me. Even so, at times I still feel lost. Lack of focus too. Hopefully, whenever I see my painting, it will remind me of this ember still trying to grow and requiring sustenance to keep on going.

In the session, I set up my mantra for this journey.

If it’s meant to be, it’ll be, it’ll be
Baby, just let it be.

It is a lyric from a song called Meant to Be by Bebe Rexha. Check the video below.

To be honest, I will try to believe. If it’s meant to be, it will be. It is a comforting line to believe in.

Why I joined Mind Gardening with Arts in the first place? I’ll share it in another post.

The session today reminded me of a similar program I had years ago. This is like the constant reminder I had throughout my life that I need to remember who I am. While the self-actualization program is more intense, at least for this session, I have arts t engage with. Here is the post in case you want to read about it.

Ally’s Thoughts: Self Actualization Program

That is all for now. I feel like I want to say a lot more but my mind feels foggy all of a sudden. Probably internal thoughts are clashing with my reality. Wishing everyone a great weekend! Until next time.

We’ll never find perfection

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We’ll never find perfection,
Except for a standard ruled by others,
It is always our own expectation,
Wanting perfection in a specific way,

Nor it is about lowering expectations,
Nor it is about settling for less,
It is about us and our perceptions,
It is about us and our needs,

The need to meet expectations,
The need for perfection,
The actual need to compensate,
For the things we lost.

Selagi tekun kita berpaut.

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Hujan lebat sepanjang malam,
Deruan angin memecah sepi,
Terngiang ucapan salam,
Masih terpahat di dalam hati,

Menyelak album memori lama,
Harta peninggalan tidak ternilai,
Walau hidup tanpa warna,
Masih segar ingatan tersemai,

Jalan di hadapan masih jauh,
Tidak kelihatan arah laut,
Sabar itu ibarat sauh,
Selagi tekun kita berpaut.

Except for accepting everything that happened.

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Today I went out,
I sat on a bench,
The weather was hot,
Yet the wind brough comfort,
The sky was bright blue,
With hints of clouds,

What a sight!
A peaceful scene,
Like a painted memory,
From the strokes and brushes,
Of a talented painter,

But the thoughts,
Turn vicious and wild,
The doubts polluted the air,
Sowing seeds of uncertainties,

Tears fell down,
Tighten chest,
Gasping for air,

In that moment,
I desire nothing,

Except for accepting everything that happened.

#4: I Have A Bestfriend Who Writes Good Poetry! — Dancing Through Life

If you noticed the first letter in every paragraph spelled out as my name ✨ Hi there, I was talking to a friend today on the phone and she asked me “What’s one of the best thing in your life when you realised that you have a loveable people around you babe..” Well it definitely […]

#4: I Have A Bestfriend Who Writes Good Poetry! — Dancing Through Life

Dear friends and readers,

I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine, Em. She recently started a new blog. So, help me to welcome her into the community!

She posted something earlier that is really kind and sweet. Thank you for the shout-out, Em!

Sorry, I Gave Up by Ally L is now available!

Hi friends and readers!

A new poetry e-book by Ally L is available now! The new e-book, Sorry, I Gave Up is a compilation of poems written between 2018-2019. The theme is about how some people took a different path in life and found themselves in difficult places. Download it for free!

Sorry, I Gave Up is the fourth e-book since my last one. The last one was published in 2017. The main reason I published it is that I want to make it easier for others to read my work. It might be a hassle to go to my website and go through each post one by one. So, like what I did years ago, the new e-book will cover all the poems I posted here from 2018 till 2019.

When I was compiling all the poems, I realized a strong main theme, hardship. If I recall correctly, those two years were mostly about me being busy with work and how it took a toll on my creativity. I was too busy that I don’t really have time for myself, or to connect and socialize with others. I got myself plunged into depression and I feel that I lost my creative self.

Hopefully, this will help me to be motivated to compile more and complete a couple of personal projects. Again, please help by downloading the book and giving it a review. It will make my day happier. Wishing everyone a great and productive week ahead!

Ally’s Thoughts: 7 Years of Poetry and Inspiration With WordPress

Hi friends and readers,

This morning, WordPress sent out a reminder about my anniversary with WordPress. It has been seven years! I’m happy to take this path and make a lot of friends along the way. It was a strong urge to free out all of my thoughts and share my words with everyone that made me Write Ally! Write!

While blogging is nothing new for me at that time. I already had one as early as 2009. I wrote a post about it. You can read it here.

Ally’s Thoughts: Goodbye My Old Blogspot Blog, You Will Be Remembered

Somehow, looking at it back now, it is the best outlet I’ve ever had. I think I’ve posted more than a thousand poems here to tell all the things I’ve gone through. Especially on all the mental states and thoughts I’ve drowned myself in for the past years. If there is a question one day asking who is Ally L.? Just read all his poems, that is the kind of person he is. He is probably the good, the bad, and a person that always trying to find something that he doesn’t even know. Or probably someone that is always struggling to be somebody.

I have more things to say about this but I stop here. Simply because the conclusion of it was ugly and made me run away from it. Never mind, let’s move on from there.

What’s next? One of the ways for me to make it easy for readers to read my work is by publishing e-books. Not everyone has time to read all the posts in the blog, so I usually compiled them into an e-book for an easier reading experience. Also, I would distribute them for free. If you haven’t checked them out, feel free to get them here.

Published Works

However, it has been a while since I published my last compilation. So, I will compile one soon and let you all know about it. While I have other things planned up, it is not the time to share them. Hopefully, everything will be done and I will be happy to share it here, FIRST!

For anyone who is contemplating doing things that they love and are passionate about. Don’t pause and think too much, if you have that spark inside of you and a strong urge to start the first step, do it. The longer you keep pressing the brake, the longer you hold yourself back. No one says that you can’t take another pause after the first step, another rest after the next step too. If the world can’t give you the peace, you make your own.

I hope everyone will have a great day ahead. Wishing everyone stays healthy and safe. Until next time!

This time to sleep.

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I fall down on my face,
Slipped from nothingness,
As I pushed my hands up,
I saw the view of heaven,

The sun smiles and shines brightly,
Fitted in between two mountains,
Grassy fields stretched between me,
And a hint of woods and bushes,

Then, the after-rain scent,
Filled the air around me,
Rousing me to get up faster,
And search the clouds,

As I look around closely,
I found a cave,
Hidden between the bushes,
Moist, wet, and slippery floors,

Another gush of golden rain,
Passes by with a sweet taste,
Honey-like washing me,
Cleansing me from my sins,

I took shelter inside the cave,
Warm and nurturing,
Until I fall again,
This time to sleep.