If you do wonder about the reason,
Of me not writing, love related poem,
Or even about the painful break up,
Is simply because those are distant things,
I’ve forgotten about love or being love,
I’ve forgotten about how my heart breaks,
I only remember how to survive,
About trying to live another day.
Why do I have to struggle,
Just to feel alive,
When all the things that trouble,
Slowly driving me insane,
There is no yesterday or tomorrow,
Survive today and live in horror.
I wish I could say,
The things that I need to,
So I can stay away,
From the harms that dragging me down,
Explain to me,
Why some nights are killing me,
From all the struggles,
And all this pain,
I do want to laugh,
To feel the lightness,
Laughing my life away,
Without the stare from the darkness,
Let me feel the breeze,
And the warmth of love,
I still want to believe,
And I want to heal.
I’m here to write,
I’m here to express,
All the unspoken words,
To spill all the inside,
The inside that have eaten me,
The inside that corrodes me,
The inside that have been living,
Turning around my reality,
I’m here to stay,
Without throwing my humanity away.
I might think too much,
I’m lacking so much,
And to tell the truth,
Really had enough,
Too much to go through,
Breaking myself too.
Ditarik nafas, dihembus lepas,
Mengharungi setiap saat, semakin lemas,
Bukan tenggelam dalam air,
Tapi kering haus udara,
Menyelam dalam perasaan hati,
Makin keruh lopak tak kenal diri,
Apalah rasa bila ada di tempat tinggi,
Kemudian jatuh berdarah kaki,
Mungkin, aku hanya ketawa,
Untuk lupakan rasa sakit sahaja,
Tapi yang lebih pedih dari itu,
Luka yang ada di dalam dada.
Dan bertambah lagi pedih,
Luka berbarah menghasut minda.
If everything was taken away from me,
Please let this blessing to write remain in me,
As much as I want to speak it out,
I rather to write and whisper it in,
In every second spent,
To every hours fought,
Struggling and wrestling,
For the right words to be breathing,
And as this physical body,
Struggling to be standing and living.
Living in a dream,
Breathing in a scream,
Running from the chasing specters,
That keeps on haunting me,
Waking up is an escape,
Or to stay is better?
Sudah lama tak bermadah,
Bukan sibuk urusan kerja,
Tapi dibelenggu suasana,
Pasang surut emosi gila,
Makin ke depan terasa makin susah,
Makin perlahan rasa berat kaki melangkah,
Berjuang bukan untuk siapa,
Untuk diri sendiri jua,
Walau kerap memujuk diri,
Cukuplah berjuang tunggulah mati,
Kudrat tak mampu menanggung beban,
Yang membatu di kepala dan hati,
Perjalanan ini mungkin masih panjang,
Izinkan aku pergi bila tiba di persimpangan.
Why is it so hard,
To feel the simplest things,
Like the joy and happiness,
And living up my dreams,
Things get harder,
And harder to breathe,
Only expectations,
Turned disappointment it seems,
If this is the journey,
For me to get through,
I wish I could live to see,
Where this path leads me.
Write Ally! Write! 