Than my own

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Image from: http://www.pinterest.com

I can’t remember,
When I started counting,
The remaining days,
And hours,
Of my soul,
Yet I have forgotten,
Their breath was shorter,
Than my own.

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Is yourself and your will to be.

two people on mountain cliff
Photo by Valdemaras D. on Pexels.com

Do you mind if I write you some letters,
To severe the burden that has you tethered,
Because I want you to be remembered,
As a person I used to dream and admire,

Nothing in this world would ever last,
It will be me, you and all of us,
Let a new day come and leave the past,
In tomorrow and the future we should trust,

I was never really being optimistic,
Not an optimist more like being pessimistic,
But I keep seeing the patterns that made me sick,
Stuck in a cycle that made me weak,

I am always tired, sleepy and losing my mood,
Not even a cake can make me feel good,
Feeling gloom and keep on to brood,
My mind being shredded and body being chopped like a wood,

Then came a time when I could no longer hold,
Holding a knife twice ready to slit my throat,
My hand was shaking and my mind starts to explode,
From overthinking when I just need a minute away from my next world,

That’s where I stopped to be in motion,
The motion of circling in the same notion,
Wanting to die so bad and being impatient,
Yet I couldn’t brace myself for the transition,

I don’t want you to become like me,
To be on the edge and too late to see,
That the answer to change and be free,
Is yourself and your will to be.

Sebelum jasadku dipinta bumi, tamat ditelan

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Tiap kali aku pejamkan mata,
Dengar detak detik jantungku berirama,
Suara halus berbisik di dalam telinga,
Membawa aku berjalan jauh berkelana,

Beribu batu berjalan tanpa arah tuju,
Fizikal penat lelah berlari aku diburu,
Setiap langkahku janggal semakin kaku,
Kerap kali jatuh atas beribu paku,

Semakin aku meningkat usia,
Aku sedar banyak perkara tak sempurna,
Bukan semua manis madu bergula,
Yang tersirat tak kelihatan palsu belaka,

Berkali kali aku lelah dalam kehidupan,
Ke sana sini mencari perhentian,
Mengharap rahsia masa depan ku masih tersimpan,
Sebelum jasadku dipinta bumi, tamat ditelan.