I couldn’t resist

abandoned adult black and white cavalry
Photo by Taufiq Klinkenborg on Pexels.com

The truth is I don’t need it,
All these,
Unnecessary thoughts,
Unwanted affections,
Unwelcome dreams,
In every sleep,
Each night,
Left me confused,
As scars,
Through my wake,
Every morning,

I don’t need it,
Yet, I couldn’t resist.

Love, what are you?

Love, what are you?

Are you the reason,

For me to cry,

For me to fall,

For me to surrender,

Are you the reason,

For this miseries,

For this uncertainties,

For this confusions,

Are you the reason too?

For all these pain,

For all these heartbreaks,

For all these negativity,

If you, Love,

The reason for my loneliness,

And all the suffering,

What are you, Love?

Even if you don’t exist

silhouette photo of man and woman about to kiss
Photo by Varun Chandak on Pexels.com

When was the last time we talked?
Not through letters, texts, or notes,
But the sound that waves,
Soothingly to our ears,

I miss you,
As much as you want,
More than you want,
Never lesser than you want,

I want to show you,
How much I love you,
Even if you don’t exist.

Sayang is a Malay word for dearest/dear/baby/

In this pillar of darkness

photo of man sitting on wooden bench while using cellphone
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I couldn’t look,
The past me,
How stupid and miserable,
I was,

All the given chances,
The errors and mistakes,
Not listening,
Not a single attention,

Where it lead me now,
The spiraling stairs,
Bottomless abyss,
To a place called Chaos,

I wonder if I landed,
I couldn’t feel the ground,
Maybe I am still falling,

I am trapped,
And lost in up or down,
In this pillar of darkness,
Again and again.

You are not looking at the right way

silhouette photo of man and woman about to kiss
Photo by Varun Chandak on Pexels.com

We all wanted,
To be love,
To feel wanted,
To feel significant,
To feel appreciated,
And we expects the same,

To someone,
Who knows you not,
Understand you not,
Until you tempted them,
Then they are lured to you,

You overlooked the one,
Who noticed you,
Who reached you,
Who supported you,
Who has been tapping your shoulders,
When the world failed you,

If  you wonder why love hasn’t come to you,
You are not looking at the right way.

To the door

ancient architecture brick brick wall
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Where have you been,
Leaving without a note,
Only wind and whispers,
With seen separated by fissures,

Have I scared you,
With my past,
And the uncertainties,
Of my future,

I will not ask more,
Only you alone,
Have the answer and key,
To the door.

And help you to get stronger.

arid barren canyon cliff
Photo by Frankie Thomas on Pexels.com

Would you share what’s in your mind,
Has the world been keeping you down,
Pour it out and let it fly,
I am here by your side,

Have you forgotten,
This is not the first,
We are here again,
In this complex bind,

I still remember the time,
The world was unkind,
To you everyday,
I was there pushing it away,

Then we split to uncertainty,
Short but feels like eternity,
Till fate pulled us here,
Closer and near,

We are here again,
No longer strangers,
I am here to ease your pain,
And help you to get stronger.