Guiding to your dismissal

Let me play with you,
Till you feel me too,
I’ve been feeding you,
Anger with no due,

You cannot stop it,
Will never break it,
You’ve been feeling it,
Don’t care about it,

I am your inner devil,
Guiding to your dismissal.

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Except you drowning in misery

I am so afraid of tomorrow,
I couldn’t close my eyes tonight,
Too many expectations,
And feet chained down, I tried,
To look brave and right,
Only fears become the blanket of my night,

Few days are wasted,
My time now is busted,
As my lifeline is well counted,
With this knife calling me wanted,
Yet I breath knowing soon I will be delivered,

Oh Life, what you are to me,
Oh Life, what you’ve done to me,
Oh Life, how cruel can you be,
Oh Life, I don’t belong here,

Death whispered slowly,
Nothing good from here on,
Nothing to look forward on,
Except you drowning in misery.

Or maybe I am damned

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Source: Giphy

Give me a chance, let me explain,
About all the silly thoughts of me from then,
So many guilt and too many faults,
Gripping my consciousness around the clock,

Where should I start, even my brain couldn’t decide,
Too many regrets and too many locks,
Let it hidden away from my reach,
Hidden well deep inside the sea away from any beach,

I am uncomfortable for any talk and sing,
On anything that will crack me open,
Not on laughter or comedic cling,
Not even tortures gonna make me soften,

I am lost even to myself,
I couldn’t decide if I am who I think I am,
Or I am just confuse or an empty book on a shelf,
Or maybe I am damned.

Just to spit out this murky clouds

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Source: Giphy

I remember the things you said,
You clearly said,
What you did to us is not fair,
Not telling us anything is not fair,
We are not in the loop is not fair,
What you did to us is not fair,

Oh,

Have you ever thought the things happened to me is fair,
I only have two hands but the workload is fair,
I am catching up everything as I just started is fair,
Trying my best to keep everything together is fair,
I am learning and absorbing non stop is fair,

In the end its not about being fair the issue,
Its about telling me without being defensive then its true,
I am not holding any grudges,
Just to spit out this murky clouds.

Let me tell you a story

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Image from: world trade consortium

Let me tell you a story,
While I am here and free,
Except I am not free,
I don’t have it given to me,
Like a stone on the street,
Ignored and kicked,
Either it stays and sturdy,
Or washed, blew, and moved,
From where it originally be,

Then people found me,
They said I am different,
Hold values on my own,
Not an ordinary stone,
Of the countless pebbles no different from my own,
They mentioned gold, diamond, and gem,
Such high values and status,
Believe in I can be one of a statue,
High and mighty with virtues,

Sorry to say but there is nothing inside me,
Nothing of value except the rough crumbles,
When you start to crush me,
Mercilessly.

Is when I close my eyes

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I opened my eyes,
Every morning on my bed,
Like it was a dream,
It seems vague and foggy,
But it is real,
As the light shines,
And the heat focused on me,
Honestly,
I don’t want to see,
Or to believe,
Not to accept,
And I am in denial,
Because the reality,
That I want to be,
Is when I close my eyes.