Hi friends and readers,
Recently, I watched a Vietnamese movie on Netflix called Dreamy Eyes (Mắt biếc) released in 2019. Here is a description from IMDb:
Through heartbreak and betrayal, a young man’s unrequited love for his childhood best friend endures for a generation in this sweeping romance.
And here is the trailer for the movie.
As usual, I’m not going to review about the movie but I want to share about the theme or questions that made me ponder after watching it. I was actually want to talk about the thought of how long someone should wait but I talked about this movie to a friend and she raised a question that was really interesting to me.
This post may contain spoilers, if you don’t want to be spoiled, feel free to divert your attention away right now. If you are unfazed to any spoilers, come and join me to ponder-land.
First, let’s talk about the first question.
How long should we wait for someone?
In the movie, Ngan has been attracted to Ha Lan since young. He did not set his eyes on anyone else even after a lot of things happened between them. The story span until they are in their thirties. In the end, when both realizes that one has been sacrificing too much and the other has been taking everything for granted, it’s probably too late.
I believe the question is not really straightforward as it seems. It really depends on the situation. Is it one-sided? Is it mutual? Is it long distance? Is it this? Is it that? Is it about pursuing one’s dream career or passion?
In a different perspective, it is also relatable to the concept of ‘right person at the wrong time’. In which a concept that I don’t favor at all. To me, there is no such thing as ‘the right person at the wrong time’, it’s just the unfavorable situation that leads to someone decided not to pursue and cut off the relationship. Most probably out of the inconveniences that happened.
Back to the question, in terms of waiting someone, why does waiting even an option? I see life as a journey and each of us is moving forward to a different direction and it’s never a linear path. Why we even have to wait? Why not go through the journey together and see if it’s working or not? It’s the so-called test. Most likely the notion of I’ll wait is just compensating in lack of a certain aspect of the relationship. In a way, I’m babbling too much at this point.
For example in the case of this movie, Nhan patiently waiting for Ha Lan and sacrificed everything for her. While he most likely has a high hope that Ha Lan will return to the village with her and accept her love, I noticed that he never really communicate what he really wanted. If I remember correctly, there were not a single scene that they really talk about what they want from each other.
As for my opinion, before we even say we are willing to wait for someone, we need to be clear on so many things first. Have the necessary talk on needs and expectations, future plans, and be decisive on what do we really want. I think in a way, the idea of supporting each other will be the key that leads to the better option which is ‘why wait. let’s get through this together’.
What about you? What’s your idea of waiting for someone?
Do you choose someone that love you OR someone that you love?
I had a conversation with a friend and I told her about this movie. We ended up talking about the question above because I asked her who will you choose, someone that love you OR someone that you love?
Because in the movie, while Ngan was pursuing Ha Lan, there is a character that has been chasing Ngan, Hong. I see Hong in the same position as Ngan but somehow, Hong was really clear with her intention and often try to convey that feeling to Ngan. Unfortunately, it’s unrequited.
Then, my friend said something that really, again took me to ponder-land. She said;
Do you love someone because you need them? Or do you need them that’s why you love them?
At first, it does sounds the same thing but after giving it a deeper thought, it’s really different. From my perspective and understanding nowadays, there are so many ways to show love to someone. In a romantic context, the goal doesn’t have to be ‘being in a relationship with the person’. To be able to show support is also a form of love. It’s also about understanding how much you are willing to give without losing your self-worth.
As for the question she asked, I’ll choose the person that love me within the certain acceptable context. Again, life is not always black and white. It depends. Each one of us might go through a similar situation but completely different background.
It’s been awhile since I write something that is really interesting to ponder. Please, feel free to share your thoughts and opinion on the comment section!
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