How would I describe this feeling eating inside of me? Would it be better if everything is plain and numb? I experience too much and I feel too much, But I’m just living like a human should be,
Every time I think about all the things eating me up, I just want to slow down and lie down for the rest of my life, What is this phase in my life that I have to go through? I don’t believe that I still have the strength to go on,
My therapist said that I’m not alone, Yet, this is too hard, Yet, this is too tiring, I can only say all these in lines,
As much as I have to admit, I’ve been holding on to something called hope, Why does this hope come with pain? And all the struggle that came down with it?
There is no answer for me, All I can do now is to let it be.
I completed watching a Japanese reality dating show on Netflix called Love Village or Ai No Sato. I did write about it in a previous entry. You can read about it below.
In my earlier post, one of the points that made me want to watch this is the age limit for the participants. They are around the age of 35 – 60 years old. Age truly shows the differences in terms of maturity and objectives compared to younger people.
One of the biggest lessons that I want to share from the show is the ability to understand what I want, what my person wants, and whether are we willing to grow together from there. All of us have our own preferences when it comes to a partner. While it may seem that it is the most important thing it may actually be something that is trivial. I like to see it this way, are we seeing the same values in life. That’s just the start.
The next part is about understanding each other and recognizing efforts. Things changed eventually when we are being honest and upfront. If things are unrequited it’s okay. At least no more stones are left unturned. That is to me being mature because we are not only dealing with our own feelings and emotions but their feeling as well. I do believe that no communication is also a form of communication. I’m the type of person who is having a hard time processing such kind of action.
It’s really assuring watching the participants being upfront with their feeling. I feel that it is a good example for me. I’m currently not really sorting out the things I want to say on this matter. I might end up reading this post again in the future and realize how silly it is. In a way, I feel like I’m writing this while being drunk. I hope you all will understand. Sorry in advance.
Anyway, that’s all for now. I hope you have a productive weekday!