An hour a week, Vulnerable and weak, A whole hour to speak, All truth and no slick, Trauma hurts like a prick, Build the present with stones and sticks, Seize the future, ready the bricks, Take all the time to heal – no sick, It is a lifelong journey, you’ll kick – The old you, without a single trick, Be the better you without the need to bootlick.
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How are you? Another interesting question for the daily prompt and I can’t help myself but to chip in my thoughts. Which aspects do you think makes a person unique?
I believe after going through my training as a certified life coach and my previous encounters with many people. I can say for sure what made them unique in my opinion.
Before we talk about the aspect that they have, let’s reflect on ourselves first. How often does we look at someone and apply our own bias? We will also judge them as in first impression as well. It’s nothing wrong because that’s how our brain are trained to protect ourselves. What matters is how would you react to that information and how would you treat that person.
Personally for me, I do have my own bias and being judgmental. However, I don’t act upon it. So this is for me, the aspect that makes a person unique, from my perspective.
I accept their strengths and weaknesses without comparing them to other people.
I believe everyone is unique. It’s depend on how you define uniqueness. For me, someone’s strengths and weaknesses are their uniqueness. They don’t need to be compared to someone else. They have gone through a lot of experience that shapes them the way they are.
I had this conversation with a peer asking what do I think of her. She have the tendency to compare herself with others. I said that, you are who you are. There’s no one else in this world like you. It’s not fair to compare yourself to others because they didn’t go through the same life experience as yours. While they might have the qualities that you don’t posses and you want them, take your time to build that quality instead of just comparing. That is because you also don’t know the journey that they had to go through to get that quality.
In a way, for me, being unique is also about being authentic to one’s self. It’s like, yes, you may meet a lot more new people in the future but you’ll never meet someone like me. Simply because I am one of a kind.
What do you think?
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Recently, I watched a Vietnamese movie on Netflix called Dreamy Eyes (Mắt biếc) released in 2019. Here is a description from IMDb:
Through heartbreak and betrayal, a young man’s unrequited love for his childhood best friend endures for a generation in this sweeping romance.
And here is the trailer for the movie.
As usual, I’m not going to review about the movie but I want to share about the theme or questions that made me ponder after watching it. I was actually want to talk about the thought of how long someone should wait but I talked about this movie to a friend and she raised a question that was really interesting to me.
This post may contain spoilers, if you don’t want to be spoiled, feel free to divert your attention away right now. If you are unfazed to any spoilers, come and join me to ponder-land.
First, let’s talk about the first question.
How long should we wait for someone?
In the movie, Ngan has been attracted to Ha Lan since young. He did not set his eyes on anyone else even after a lot of things happened between them. The story span until they are in their thirties. In the end, when both realizes that one has been sacrificing too much and the other has been taking everything for granted, it’s probably too late.
I believe the question is not really straightforward as it seems. It really depends on the situation. Is it one-sided? Is it mutual? Is it long distance? Is it this? Is it that? Is it about pursuing one’s dream career or passion?
In a different perspective, it is also relatable to the concept of ‘right person at the wrong time’. In which a concept that I don’t favor at all. To me, there is no such thing as ‘the right person at the wrong time’, it’s just the unfavorable situation that leads to someone decided not to pursue and cut off the relationship. Most probably out of the inconveniences that happened.
Back to the question, in terms of waiting someone, why does waiting even an option? I see life as a journey and each of us is moving forward to a different direction and it’s never a linear path. Why we even have to wait? Why not go through the journey together and see if it’s working or not? It’s the so-called test. Most likely the notion of I’ll wait is just compensating in lack of a certain aspect of the relationship. In a way, I’m babbling too much at this point.
For example in the case of this movie, Nhan patiently waiting for Ha Lan and sacrificed everything for her. While he most likely has a high hope that Ha Lan will return to the village with her and accept her love, I noticed that he never really communicate what he really wanted. If I remember correctly, there were not a single scene that they really talk about what they want from each other.
As for my opinion, before we even say we are willing to wait for someone, we need to be clear on so many things first. Have the necessary talk on needs and expectations, future plans, and be decisive on what do we really want. I think in a way, the idea of supporting each other will be the key that leads to the better option which is ‘why wait. let’s get through this together’.
What about you? What’s your idea of waiting for someone?
Do you choose someone that love you OR someone that you love?
I had a conversation with a friend and I told her about this movie. We ended up talking about the question above because I asked her who will you choose, someone that love you OR someone that you love?
Because in the movie, while Ngan was pursuing Ha Lan, there is a character that has been chasing Ngan, Hong. I see Hong in the same position as Ngan but somehow, Hong was really clear with her intention and often try to convey that feeling to Ngan. Unfortunately, it’s unrequited.
Then, my friend said something that really, again took me to ponder-land. She said;
Do you love someone because you need them? Or do you need them that’s why you love them?
At first, it does sounds the same thing but after giving it a deeper thought, it’s really different. From my perspective and understanding nowadays, there are so many ways to show love to someone. In a romantic context, the goal doesn’t have to be ‘being in a relationship with the person’. To be able to show support is also a form of love. It’s also about understanding how much you are willing to give without losing your self-worth.
As for the question she asked, I’ll choose the person that love me within the certain acceptable context. Again, life is not always black and white. It depends. Each one of us might go through a similar situation but completely different background.
It’s been awhile since I write something that is really interesting to ponder. Please, feel free to share your thoughts and opinion on the comment section!
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Oh yes, Tell the world about this madness of mine, To spend love like the last droplet of water in the middle of the scorching desert, It’s not going to quench the abyss of thirst, Yet, it’s the most expensive droplet in the whole world,
I’d give the last droplet to you, Because I want to, Because that’s how I show my love to you, I want to give, I want to support, I want to motivate,
Oh yes, I’m drunk, Yet not a sip of wine taken, A door of escape, Hallucinating with hundreds of shadows, Dancing under the cold night sky, With the punishing storm, Not to seek, But only to give, Intoxicated me,
Oh yes, Abused me with your existence, Because half of my soul, Lost and tainted, By your cold everlasting wind.
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Write Ally! Write! 