I can’t help to wonder,
Since when to follow,
And listen to own’s heart,
Can be punishing,
And wrecking,
till it break,
I believe it is right,
Others told me otherwise.
Others told me otherwise
Tag: Writing
Caged with loneliness
I remembered how to be lifeless,
A feel I have long forgotten,
I was empty,
Not because of the nothingness inside me,
But all the things that made me feel,
Was released,
Like a canary,
Caged with loneliness.
Please, just let me be.
It is funny and ironic,
That things never changed,
Everything has ended,
Like it always have,
I know, I was the fool,
Please, just let me be.
It was found and opened
The people around me,
Persuaded me to move on,
I thought I did,
But I was not,
It became a Pandora Box,
That I buried deep,
Until years later,
It was found and opened.
Ally’s Thoughts: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (2018)
Hi everyone,
I just finished watching The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society on Netflix. I added it on My List for quite some times. Only now I have the feel to watch it. I am glad not a second wasted on this movie.
The movie is based on a novel with the same title written by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows that was published in 2008.
The movie is about Juliet, a writer from London received a letter from a book club in Guernsey called The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. Yes, it’s a mouthful one indeed but there are circumstances. Led by curiosity, Juliet went to Guernsey to uncover the truth behind the book club.
As usual in Ally’s Thoughts segment, this is not a review of a movie but more on sharing few points and perspective that really caught my attention in the movie. There might be few spoilers around, if you don’t want to be spoiled, turn around now.
The place we truly belong
Perhaps, not everyone would resonate about it. However, there are people out there that are looking for a place they would call home, family, and longed for familiar connections with the people around them.
Imagine there are so many things going on in your life, suddenly, you feel that the thing that is happening to you feels so distant. While you have accomplished so much, yet, you still feel something missing.
That thought made you wonder and ponder, made you searched to understand. You are looking for an answer, no mediocre ones can really satisfy you. While everyone around you tried to convince you otherwise, you kept on and believe in the voices of your heart.
I believe that is what Juliet has experienced. She was not ready to settle in her current state. She still couldn’t get off her pasts and searching for something to give her strength to move on. She found a reason when she received the letter from Dawsey.
She was probably doubting herself a lot before making that decision. To step out and look for something. Driven by her curiosity and guts. She couldn’t let go. This was shown many times in the movie.
Even when there were resistance directly telling her to stop and carry on from the book club. She stayed in Gurnsey and building deeper connection with the club members. Her strong feeling keeps on guiding her to stay for the sake of uncovering the truth. In the end, she uncovered the truth about the club and the truth about herself. The truth about what she strongly believed.
I believe that there are plenty of times in my life, I tried to be rational about things. There are times when I decide to ignore my feeling and live up to the standard norm. Nothing wrong with that, the decisions were made by myself. There are no points in regretting them.
However, there are plenty of time as well that some decisions left my feeling to voice out louder. The feeling went so intense that I can’t ignore. Later, the feeling won over my rational decision.
Perhaps that was the decision that we truly belonged. Like there are forces that intervened and brought out new perspectives.
There are so many quotes from the movie I wished to share but there are not many available in the web. Even so, I would really love to share this one.
Such a small thing, just a book. Yet, it brought me all this way.
Juliet
There are times when the smallest thing in our life made us brace ourselves and brought out the courage inside us. Some may be insignificant to others but to us, it leads us to the place we truly belong.
Now, I really need to find the book and read it. That is how it usually happened to me. Movies first, then the books.
In a light speed universe.
This stillness feels heavy,
Like a mountain stands,
For thousand of years,
This longing feels unworthy,
Like chasing the moon,
Till came the sun,
This breath feels useless,
Like lighting a candle,
On bright daylight,
The slow torture,
In a light speed universe.
Ally’s Thoughts: My 1000th Post
Hi everyone,
When I started this journey, I just want to write everything in my head and share it. I never thought mine are great or meaningful at all. All I want is to let things go and clear my thoughts and inspiration. Creating an outlet for my passion.
I realized the importance of writing everything along the way. There are times I feel stuck and things spiraling down. Every time I wrote them down, I feel liberated in some way. I can be too reserved that only pen and paper would be my outlet. I mostly have no one else to talk with except the walls.
It has been a great journey ever since. I get to read wonderful posts by the community. I get to make friends and even met some of them. It was a great experience too. I admit that there are times where I made errors and mistakes. I can be immature and selfish at times too. I am really sorry if I ever offended anyone here.
I have been reading back the posts here, there are times I feel like a different person. It feels like I don’t even remember writing them.
The truth is I am really tired now. I am tired of trying too. I am mostly working from home and rarely go out. So, that would probably be reason I have been having spiraling thoughts. At this moment, sleeping is the best thing going on for me.
Not really expecting my 1000th post to be something like this but I really need to write this away.
I wish everyone have a great day and stay safe!
This is ridiculous
This is ridiculous,
What are the chances,
For coincidences,
Wherever I look,
From the highest mountain,
To the deepest sea,
I keep finding you,
As the time against us,
The distance fear us,
The signs keep telling me,
You, you, and you,
It spelled Destiny,
I wish it to be true,
I will endure the pain,
To get through.
Let me take it to my grave
I wish I could forget,
The sweet and bitter,
Of our past,
If this is really the end,
Years has passed,
With couple of leap years,
Even the season changed,
Together with the souls in it,
I moved forward,
Learning and building,
About the world,
On myself,
As I forget,
It seeps slowly,
Through the crevices,
Of my unconscious mind,
The world and everything in it,
Whispering about you,
Reminding me about your existence,
Every night and day,
As hard I tried to ignore,
The greater the signs intensity,
As I struggled harder,
The clarity purer,
How can I forget you now?
Let me take it to my grave.
Write Ally! Write! 2018 Rewind
Hey all,
I was trying to clear some drafts and this post has been stuck for few years now. I was not feeling good back then. I was not ready to share anything. I was not ready to face anything in life.
I don’t feel like deleting it because I don’t want to forget. Well, I am sharing it here.
Greetings everyone,
Annually, I would write about the highlights of my blog for the year.
Usually, I would post it before the new year of a week after but this time it is unavoidable. It is already two weeks in January and I am struggling to write my posts.
I would summarize things that happened to me, to serve as lesson for myself. I will share with you the most viewed posts in 2018. Plus, my plan and expectations in 2019.
What Happened 2018?
I would call my early 2018 was hectic, personal point of view. I was wondering what am I and the definition of myself. Things were looking pretty tensed and the workload was quite crazy too.
Towards the end of February, I lost my grandmother, she was sick for few months that time. We already had plan to fly to Indonesia before that, we already bought the ticket for her. It was really heartbreaking for me every time I have to remember back. In March, me and my family fly to Indonesia, specifically to Bawean Island. It was more than 20 years since my last visit.
Nothing much except the crazy amount of work. I started to feel anxious about my workload in mid 2018. I believe I wrote less posts too.
In December, I tendered my resign and served a month notice. However, to ease the transition, I will be working as a temp for a month until 31st January 2019. The reason for my resignation was ‘I can no longer handle my depression’.
I was diagnosed and I have severe depression. For the first time in my life, I finally have the courage to see a doctor. The symptoms was not new, I have been cooping up with my depression since I was 10.
– I stopped writing here –
