If you have asked me,
Am I tired of writing,
All the sad and broken,
Words and lines,
Trust me I am,
It is not a pleasure,
Nor a satisfaction,
But telling the pain inside,
I can no longer remember,
The written pieces,
About the beauty,
And lovely life was,
I am at peace,
But the hollow heart,
Stays.
I can’t help to feel,
Silly and stupid,
Over this funny situation,
That leads to all these,
Unwanted feelings,
I don’t want to suffer,
Through all the brokenness,
That I thought I have fixed,
A long time ago,
A droplet of hope,
If I have to go through,
All these tears and pain,
For the exchange of,
Uncertainties,
With the cost of happiness,
I don’t know,
Where this leads,
Nor I know,
When it will end,
I just want,
To stay asleep and never wake up.
I still remember,
This feeling,
The burn,
Leaving scars,
The spiraling thoughts,
Crushing hopes,
To the depth,
Of uncertainties,
The unstoppable waves,
Of restless anxieties,
Gushing endless memories,
Of all we have been through,
The simple things,
The hard decisions,
The lovely moments,
And the teary nights,
Too much, dear,
Too much to forget,
Too much, love,
Too much to let go.
Yes,
I am not denying,
My mind swirls around,
The thoughts of her,
I want to know too,
The reasons of existence,
The chain that binds,
And the void in me,
I have no explanation,
The inability of making sense,
Illogical thoughts of the unknown,
Unable to interpret it,
The simplest explanation,
To at least helps,
Others to understand,
And for you to understand too,
It is hard because it feels like,
I lost someone that I have spent my whole life with.
I am left confused,
And felt rejected,
For the things I have done,
In the past,
In each breath,
A thousand questions,
Left unanswered,
Pulling me to the ground,
In each blink,
The remnants of happiness,
Loss its colors,
Jaded memories,
In each steps,
Only to be reminded,
Of the unwanted,
Self.
I can’t help to wonder,
Since when to follow,
And listen to own’s heart,
Can be punishing,
And wrecking,
till it break,
I believe it is right,
Others told me otherwise.
I remembered how to be lifeless,
A feel I have long forgotten,
I was empty,
Not because of the nothingness inside me,
But all the things that made me feel,
Was released,
Like a canary,
Caged with loneliness.
It is funny and ironic,
That things never changed,
Everything has ended,
Like it always have,
I know, I was the fool,
Please, just let me be.
The people around me,
Persuaded me to move on,
I thought I did,
But I was not,
It became a Pandora Box,
That I buried deep,
Until years later,
It was found and opened.
Hi everyone,
I just finished watching The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society on Netflix. I added it on My List for quite some times. Only now I have the feel to watch it. I am glad not a second wasted on this movie.
The movie is based on a novel with the same title written by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows that was published in 2008.
The movie is about Juliet, a writer from London received a letter from a book club in Guernsey called The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. Yes, it’s a mouthful one indeed but there are circumstances. Led by curiosity, Juliet went to Guernsey to uncover the truth behind the book club.
As usual in Ally’s Thoughts segment, this is not a review of a movie but more on sharing few points and perspective that really caught my attention in the movie. There might be few spoilers around, if you don’t want to be spoiled, turn around now.
The place we truly belong
Perhaps, not everyone would resonate about it. However, there are people out there that are looking for a place they would call home, family, and longed for familiar connections with the people around them.
Imagine there are so many things going on in your life, suddenly, you feel that the thing that is happening to you feels so distant. While you have accomplished so much, yet, you still feel something missing.
That thought made you wonder and ponder, made you searched to understand. You are looking for an answer, no mediocre ones can really satisfy you. While everyone around you tried to convince you otherwise, you kept on and believe in the voices of your heart.
I believe that is what Juliet has experienced. She was not ready to settle in her current state. She still couldn’t get off her pasts and searching for something to give her strength to move on. She found a reason when she received the letter from Dawsey.
She was probably doubting herself a lot before making that decision. To step out and look for something. Driven by her curiosity and guts. She couldn’t let go. This was shown many times in the movie.
Even when there were resistance directly telling her to stop and carry on from the book club. She stayed in Gurnsey and building deeper connection with the club members. Her strong feeling keeps on guiding her to stay for the sake of uncovering the truth. In the end, she uncovered the truth about the club and the truth about herself. The truth about what she strongly believed.
I believe that there are plenty of times in my life, I tried to be rational about things. There are times when I decide to ignore my feeling and live up to the standard norm. Nothing wrong with that, the decisions were made by myself. There are no points in regretting them.
However, there are plenty of time as well that some decisions left my feeling to voice out louder. The feeling went so intense that I can’t ignore. Later, the feeling won over my rational decision.
Perhaps that was the decision that we truly belonged. Like there are forces that intervened and brought out new perspectives.
There are so many quotes from the movie I wished to share but there are not many available in the web. Even so, I would really love to share this one.
Such a small thing, just a book. Yet, it brought me all this way.
Juliet
There are times when the smallest thing in our life made us brace ourselves and brought out the courage inside us. Some may be insignificant to others but to us, it leads us to the place we truly belong.
Now, I really need to find the book and read it. That is how it usually happened to me. Movies first, then the books.
