Have you been in a situation where you don’t think things will work out because of the differences in values?
I’ve been wanting to share about this for the past few weeks but I couldn’t decide on how to share it. The word value also means principles or the thing we think is important in life. If we think love is important, love is a value in our life. If we think money is far more important, we hold money as valuable and a priority in our life. Those are just examples.
What if a couple doesn’t share the same values? What if a family has different ideas on the values that matter? What if the company’s value is totally different from that of its employees? It is a mismatch and will hinder their situation, trust, and growth.
Of course, a solution or a compromise is the next step forward. However, before taking that next step, the current step is to understand what kind of values that we believe in.
I personally, can be really particular about the things I get myself involved on something. Be it personal, networking, or career-wise.
I was in such a situation recently and I feel tormented for the inability to share about it. Imagine working on a project that you are so uncomfortable with. It was not the tasks, colleagues, or the bosses but the whole idea of the project. A project that focuses on great values but personally to me, it is against mine. Don’t get me wrong, I do support the project but to be personally involved in it, stirs the guilts and pressure inside me.
Sorry for the long absent. I don’t even know what am I experiencing right now. Am I having relapses, non-stop anxieties, living in survival mode, or trying too hard to escape reality.
To share how and what I feel, I feel like I am struggling. Struggling for or from what, I’m not sure. Not at the moment. I wonder if I am in fight or flight mode. Maybe my depression is creeping on me harder than before. Is it depression or something that I am used to? I don’t know. All I know is like I am living a double life, one trying too hard to survive and the other one, already giving up the fight.
Perhaps, I’ve been overthinking. To the extent when simple things feels huge and difficult. I really don’t know. I don’t feel sad but beyond it. The feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. I don’t know what to express. I feel like an empty vessel, soulless. I remember when I always am associated with the word lifeless. It somehow stays and still relevant, to this day.
I have forgotten the feeling of happiness, excitement, and hope. Mostly reality hits differently and being merciless. Too much thinking, too tiring. The thought of living overshadowed by the crushing struggle. Shrouded by loneliness is like a wound that never heal. I’ve written things down in my book, lashing it out in this space.